Cheat Work Thursday

Happy new year! This year, I’m going to give (even) less chance for people* to invade my space. *that asshole who - stands too close behind me in line. - discovers and likes my happy place, and thinks it’s a good idea to take it from me. - thinks the sole purpose of my time and energy is to serve them and their grievances and needs and secrets -- while the total emotional connection between us is exactly zero. - thinks it’s their right to ask me personal questions at times when it is not. - thinks it’s their right to ask me personal questions, at times when it is not, within the first TWO MINUTES EVER talking to me! - etc. Of course I've realized this for a long time -- that many think friendliness is an approval to invade the (seemingly) friendly person's space -- I just don't know what to do about it. Social interaction is sometimes a work for me. While I *don't mind* it, I need to recharge after a while. It requires effort and energy to be fully enga...

Photo by Ohmky on Unsplash Q: What do some yogis, religious people and the new generation of 'hip' people have in common? A: Self-righteousness and the incessant need to be philosophical all the time. Oww, too much? In the words of one of my favourite blogs, therheeldaze.com, "... this whole positivity thing has become... a tad insane." 

Photo by Ohmky on Unsplash Gyms are DBs. Their MO always starts by making a potential client feel bad about themselves because "We need to crush these people, then tell them that we are the answer to their unhappy lives." I've stopped feeling guilty about making fun of them a long time ago. A few months ago, my yoga teacher went for a holiday. Coincidentally, during that time I got a free two-week gym membership from my credit card, so I went to use it knowing I WOULD NOT sign up with them and would only go to its yoga classes. But hey, I thank you for the free pass, and I'll play along. So I was given a form. (Their words are in blue .) Questions: 7) How long has it been since you were in great shape? 8) Besides yourself , is there anyone in your life that would stop you from achieving your fitness goals? I underline the word ' yourself ' because I want you to think deeply about it. And there was a timeline graph on the next page (I edited it a ...

I don't know which one is more wrong: buying the roadside egg, cheese and dripping mayonnaise hotdog, or buying it in a nightdress and cardigan. But I just did both. However, instead of focusing on what's wrong with me, I'd rather we focus on what's wrong with the society or the world. I was flipping through an old newspaper and found this section publishing letters from readers, and it annoyed me. These readers were appalled by the standard of English usage in Malaysia. The letters sounded like this: "The standard of English is appalling..." "The decline of English proficiency is a serious issue..." " We are heading into a dark age... " ..... The language privilege. I read all the letters twice. None of them suggested a solution. If you think the state of English usage is worrying, tell the readers what they can do to improve it, so it will be up to your standard: Urge the government to continue teaching Maths and Scien...

It's two days to September. 2012. I need to update you on my seven-day challenge and Twilight. The seven-day challenge — This may surprise you greatly, but I failed in the first month. I've forgotten now how many days I managed the arm series etc, but it was the cardio... I almost fainted on the first day. That wasn't the first time I did the workout, but I was probably pushing myself extra hard that day. You know, it was kind of the-first-day-of-the-rest-of-my-life thing. And after five minutes... I was seeing spots and immediately panicked. Ok, what's happening to me? God, am I going to pass out? But I'll be ok after that, right? So I kept walking for the longest two* minutes of my life, trying to remember advice I heard from primary school about what to do after a long run. I'm sure we are not allowed to sit or something?** *Included the one minute after I opened the front door and kept walking in circles near my shoe rack, hoping if I passed out, a st...

I've tweeted some of these and deleted them a few hours after that, telling myself: Alright, these have passed. Why put in more time and energy on them? If we were to rank all the issues in the world, these would sit at #3,456,329. So, that settles it. Only that, I've been fortunate enough to meet these types of people on more than one occasion. Lucky for you who didn't get the chance to read the tweets, I'm going to blog about them now. So, instead of a short 140 characters, let's dedicate a long blog post to the six people I'm possibly obsessed of: 1) People who feel the need to be self-righteous between 98% and 100% of the time. Ok, you meet this person from time to time in your life. You don't totally hate them, but they do breathe attention. You compliment their choice of healthy food on Monday, they judge your fried chicken on Tuesday. It annoys them deeply if they are not recognized for their deeds, principles and lifestyle. They are obsessed wit...

@ Elizasoul80 Sometimes I don't understand why people are so worried about turning, for example, 30. Age is a huge gift, people! It means you're still alive. It means you'll have more days to achieve your dreams, correct your mistakes and spend more time with your loved ones. So let's do ourselves a favour and be grateful for the days given to us. Many do not have the same opportunities. Besides, one of the perks of getting older is, you can now feel many things in your life happened ages ago. The next time you want to brush off a not-so-favourite topic started by a not-so-favourite person from the past whom you've just bumped into, you can go: "Really? I don't remember that, you know, it was like 17 years / 3 years / 4 days ago..." Or you can just pretend you don't remember that person at all. "Sorry, I don't remember any [insert some nicknames I wouldn't touch with a 10-foot pole] in my class..." Or you can preten...

We were having coffee and waffles at a stop on our way back to KL when I was telling my siblings how traumatized I was by my Form 3 Bahasa Melayu teacher that I have this obsession with wrapping my books and making sure the windows are open with panes set at the same level -- until today. Of course, I was kidding. About the traumatized part... I'm perfectly sane. You know that. The said teacher, a male, besides wanting the windows opened and exercise books wrapped in a specific way, also pinched our cheeks if we forgot our dictionary or homework. Yes. Pinch. Cheeks. Imagine the harassment charges he'd face if he did that today. Thank God he never got to do that to me. That's infuriating, being relieved about avoiding something that shouldn't have happened in the first place. But it was a small victory for us when one of our friends pushed his hand hard in front of the class one day. I used to have this colleague -- he would describe himself as "Oh-I'm-S...

Sometimes when I feel like doing something that brings little joy, I'd go read some work-related materials -- books, blogs, magazines -- just like what I've been doing for the last couple of weeks. Several things scary about reading work-related materials: 1) Realizing how little you know. (I did realize this much earlier, of course, but it was more convenient to ignore it.) 2) Realizing that there are so many other things that you don't know yet, that you haven't read, that you must read... 3) Point No 2 doesn't sound like a lot of fun. It's a vicious cycle. Also, I'm helping to organize a non-profit event that is going to be held one week from now. The interesting thing about the event is, I'll be dealing with one group of people that I can honestly say I like as well as another group that I don't. I'll be in charge of logistics, gifts and probably attending to guests. Will try my best not to poison anyone.

I used to be a hopeless listener. So now, for 98% of the time, I'm happy that I've learned to listen better, which is probably helped by my job; the other 2% of the time, I secretly wish for a more refreshing experience. Sometimes I'd sit in one corner thinking, god, I hope today will be a good listening experience . I hope I get to listen to people who actually do what they say, if not more. I hope today I won't cross paths with anyone who claims to earn a six-figure income but still tracks every last cent at the same time. Or anyone who claims to live a healthy lifestyle and thinks it's their right to shame others for adding another scoop of cream to their coffee. All the healthy lifestyles should reduce the level of rudeness. We can call it a healthy brain. Though these are probably things I merely witness rather than experience, it's still kind of tiring to hear and see. Then I feel guiltywhineyembarrassed. I should just be thankful that I still can ...

Have you ever found yourself in a group discussion where there is one member of the group whose favourite contribution is -- talking? Mostly about himself and why he is soooo good? I was in a seminar/workshop a while ago. We were asked to sit in small groups and discuss a given topic. By the time our group finished discussing ours, Mr Hear Me had outlined all his past (and future) achievements and single-handedly taught everyone how things are supposed to be done . Then came the time to present our work and choose our group's speaker. Of course, we chose him. Of course, he was delighted. If I'm granted with two magic skills/tools, I'd ask for Money Making Machine as one of them. But if I'm granted with only one, I'd go for Opening People's Zipper When They Are About to Go on Stage.

CHARACTER #8 : Only travelling agenda is shopping, has problem finding things back home, needs to buy everything abroad, including a mammoth-sized gong: CHARACTER #12 : Asks to be left at one of the train stations along the way: CHARACTER #5 : Should never leave the house:

1) Best invention McDonald's 24-hour Drive-Thru 2) Best clean slate A new country 3) Best door opener Money 4) Best laughing and tear gas Complete Seasons 1 - 10 of Friends DVD 5) 6) Best neighbour One who minds own business 7) Best sleeping pills Accomplishments during the day 8) Best life plan Moving on 9) Best booster A new haircut 10) Best mouth zipper Mirror. Really, really huge mirror.

I was on one of those 'Don't hurt my feelings, my day sucked' modes last night. (They'd normally go away in the morning.) My two sisters, three nieces and I had a small picnic at a park on Saturday. We played games, we ran around, we raced, we had fun (because for what reason running and covering yourself with filthy sweat are not fun?), and I was surprised(?) by my shortness of breath. So I stood in front of the mirror this morning, staring at the hugest double panda eye bags in the world and wondering what magic cream could help to fix the rest of the reflection... and can I afford it? No, we can't expect to stay in one shape or look from 20 to 30 to 50, can we? I need a new haircut. I had a meeting on Sunday during which I was made to feel that I haven't made enough, and yet I was made to volunteer to pay for dinner and listen to the whole dialogue of The Chronicles of Narnia or something, complete with special effects. I didn't dare move a musc...

Dinner, coffee and company are half part of a perfect evening. The other half comes if you like all three. And I dread having to pretend that I do, while my mind's wondering elsewhere, while I'm still trying to show some level of concentration... while I'm pretty sure this person sitting across me is busy admiring themselves talking about something else. (And this cup of coffee in front of me tastes really good. So gooodd that I have to sip it very slowly.) Like a clockwork, I went to see Miss I-have-the-Best-Judgment-and-Life again, who needs to approve everyone's last, next and current life, who still thinks her unsolicited commentary equals her noble mission to fix other people's crappy (unlike her) life. Please, universe, we (this person and I) need to part ways.

For a while now, I've been thinking that I should revise my Celebrating Others policy. Some things should just end. Ten days from today, Ave is getting married. I was on the phone with her a few days back, talking of the usuals, including some of the life's great mysteries. "I thought I was done attending weddings. But I can't miss yours, can I?" "Haha. Did you watch this Sex and the City episode when Carrie lost her shoes at her friend's baby shower?" I did not. Apparently, Carrie lost her $485 Manolos (the house rules required her to remove her carefully chosen-to-match-the-outfit shoes) at a party thrown by her friend, Kyra. Leaving with no compensation, she wondered if she had somehow made a mistake by choosing her current lifestyle, rather than Kyra's more traditional one. Since she always comes through every time Kyra registers, she thought it was only fair that she turned the tables, so she registered herself at Manolo -- a si...

When a relationship (of any type) ended in a not so pretty way and when I thought I wouldn't see the other party ever again for the rest of my life, I was wrong. Before I knew it, I'd be cornered with the all-delightful reunions. Trying (or faking) to be nice is a hard, tiring work. Should I put on my biggest smile and pretend to be impressed with the latest of the other party's life, or should I just take flight from the scene without a word and once again act like 12. It's much easier if it's with someone I don't bother 'winning' against. In fact, it's only tricky when it involves someone who I want to appear nonchalant to while subtly saying, "Oh, you don't threaten me one bit" or "It's your loss". And things would get much funnier when we'd (not so) secretly give each other a once-over during the first few moments of the meeting, scrutinizing the other party from head to toe, looking for scratches or whatever...