Cheat Work Thursday

THE IRON THRONE It must have been a rough four days for people who watch both Survivor and Game of Thrones this week, and hate the endings. The polarizing, hysterically similar endings have to happen on the same week! But thank universe, I'm fine. I really think we have a very satisfying ending for Game of Thrones too. Daenerys, The Last Queen of the Seven Kingdoms. If burning down the city is still not an indicator, it's eerie to see how off the rails Daenerys has got from her victory speech. The war is not over, apparently. Hearing that is already making me tired. At the top of the broken stairs surrounded by a sea of rubble, she then declares a mission to “liberate” the entire world. 🤦🏻‍♀️ Still, being able to command both the Dothraki and the Unsullied — at the same time — cannot be an easy feat. Looking at the opposite ways they are cheering for their win, I don't know how the two armies survived crossing the sea, not killing each other. Then we arrive a...

THE BELLS The thing about Game of Thrones is, we can't wait to find out the ending, but we also don't want it to end that quickly. Eight years of epic entertainment and surprises, and after this episode, there are only 80 minutes left of the show. So we are checking off speculations and prophecies at lightning speed this episode, and axing people left and right. They are all going to die — we just want each of the deaths to be more creative and unexpected than the last. "Varys got torched by the dragon." "Just torched? What a letdown." I am kind of disappointed with the way Varys dies, though. I wish he had lived to old age and done whatever it was that he meant by doing things "for the realm". I wish the show had surprised us with the Hound too. With all his pessimism, he deserved to live a long life. Jaime and Cersei's deaths were kind of ok , right? Granted that we didn't see the bodies, they had to die either by killing ...

THE LAST OF THE STARKS "Well?" WHERE WE ARE AT RIGHT NOW: 1 Gendry is now Lord Gendry Baratheon of Storm's End. I don't think that place has ever registered on my brain. Are there even people living in Storm's End? Anyway, he also proposes to Arya and gets rejected. Then Arya and the Hound escape the crowd and ride to King's Landing ahead of Jon and Daenerys' army. 2 It is still tough to make friends in the North for Daenerys. While celebrating their victory against the Night King, everyone wants to drink with Jon, and she has to make Gendry a Lord and give a toast to Arya to get a cheer. I totally feel for her; she's me at networking events. "What kind of person climbs on a fucking dragon? A madman , or a king ," Tormund toasts Jon while Daenerys looks on. Awkward. Also, foreshadowing? 3 Daenerys tells Jon to keep his Targaryen blood a secret. Jon says he doesn't care about the Iron Throne but has to tell Arya and Sansa a...

THE LONG NIGHT Nobody: Literally nobody: Me: I'm reporting from Winterfell. _____ 0:03 Theon casually wheels Bran out to the weirwood tree because that's the plan. Just a bait to draw out the evil king, who can do powerful magic and wants everybody dead but has like 0.006% chance — tops — to be killed himself. No big deal. 0:04 The last of the Unsullied marches into the field. I give it to these people, they line up super straight like it’s all measured with rulers. The rows of people and Winterfell all lit up look beautiful too*, like they are all here to celebrate something. Except it's awfully quiet and cold and they are about to fight creatures that almost cannot die. (*Come on, people. It's in the middle of the night. It's appropriately dark.) 0:06 A lone rider approaches the Winterfell gang — it's Melisandre. The Red Woman asks the Dothraki to lift their swords, and she goes to light their weapons. Whoa, I'm geeking out so hard right n...

A KNIGHT OF THE SEVEN KINGDOMS This episode has way too many feelings (not feels ), and everyone is trying to sort something out as half of them will probably be turning into wights the following day. Jaime receives an icy-cold-we-should-just-murder-you welcome from Daenerys and Sansa because not only is he showing up empty-handed and admitting that Cersei has never intended to help them, he was also not very nice to the Targaryens and the Starks before. But Brienne comes forward and vouches for him, so he's ultimately allowed to stay. On the other hand, he's practically thanked by Bran for pushing Bran out of the tower years ago. In the middle of trying to be friends with Sansa, which quickly turns awkward when Sansa asks about the North's status after the war, Daenerys is interrupted with the news of Theon's return. The meeting is friendly, but it is Sansa who gets the huge hug. So, Theon's another one. He was stupid and cruel and an all-around evil, but I...

WINTERFELL WHERE WE ARE AT RIGHT NOW: 1 Jon Snow, his aunt and the rest of their entourage finally arrive at Winterfell, received by Queen Sansa and her now-perpetually-in-pensive-state brother. "I warned you. The North doesn't easily trust outsiders." "Lol I have dragons." "You all notice that Bran looks different, right?" "Just you wait, Jon." 2 Sansa reunites with her ex-husband Tyrion, reminiscing that one day they went to Joffrey's wedding. Good times. She also makes it clear to Tyrion that she thinks Tyrion is stupid for believing that Cersei will help their fight against the Night King. Yeah Tyrion, it has been three seasons probably since your last ok plan. 3 Daenerys and Sam have a very mother-of-awkward introduction at the library. "Thanks for helping my friend-who-doesn't-look-like-he'll-get-over-me-ever. I also torched some rich family on my way here." "It's such an honour to me...