Game of Thrones 8, Episode 3
THE LONG NIGHT
Nobody:
Literally nobody:
Me: I'm reporting from Winterfell.
0:03 Theon casually wheels Bran out to the weirwood tree because that's the plan. Just a bait to draw out the evil king, who can do powerful magic and wants everybody dead but has like 0.006% chance — tops — to be killed himself. No big deal.
0:04 The last of the Unsullied marches into the field. I give it to these people, they line up super straight like it’s all measured with rulers. The rows of people and Winterfell all lit up look beautiful too*, like they are all here to celebrate something. Except it's awfully quiet and cold and they are about to fight creatures that almost cannot die. (*Come on, people. It's in the middle of the night. It's appropriately dark.)
0:06 A lone rider approaches the Winterfell gang — it's Melisandre. The Red Woman asks the Dothraki to lift their swords, and she goes to light their weapons. Whoa, I'm geeking out so hard right now.
But wait, only the Dothraki? Grey Worm and gang don’t get flaming swords?
0:09 Melisandre is let into the castle, and before Davos gets the chance to chastise her, she tells Davos, “There is no need to execute me, Ser Davos. I’ll be dead before the dawn.”
0:11 So it begins. Nothing happens on the other side yet, but the Dothraki have started hollering, and two seconds later they are charging towards the Night King's line.
So they are sending Jorah Mormont, Ghost and the Dothraki first.
0:12 People who stay back launch the fireballs. I don't trust this thing.
0:13 Then it suddenly gets dark and quiet. All the light and yelling are completely gone. F. This is awkward.
Correction: so they are sending Jorah Mormont, Ghost and the Dothraki to die first.
And just like that the Dothraki are off the payroll.
0:14 But wait — Jorah, a couple of people and some horses return. That went so well, though.
0:15 So now here come the white walkers.
0:16 The dragons are out. Well, five minutes earlier would be better.
Only that, according to the internet, this is not supposed to happen yet. The dragon squad is supposed to wait until the Night King shows himself.
I don't know — one blow of fire, hundreds of walkers dead — sounds pretty good to me.
Then the sky gets even darker and blurry with an avalanche of ice and smoke and ashes and angry cloud.
0:19 Sam falls and screams for Edd. His eye is two inches away from a white walker's blade. Edd saves Sam and yells at him to get up. And we have our first major casualty for the night — the great, loyal sidekick that is Eddison Tollett. Come on. One of my favourites.
0:20 Sansa goes down to the crypt, which only says that things are not looking good out there. Tyrion takes a swig.
0:21 Did Daenerys and Jon's dragons just collide mid-air?
Tormund and Brienne order everyone to fall back, with the Unsullied providing cover. Since the Unsullied march in perfect lines, they are also being slaughtered row by row.
0:25 Grey Worm yells, "Light the trenches! Light the trenches!" And Davos gives a fire signal to somebody. Who? The trenches are still not being lighted. Who has the matches?
0:26 "She can't see us," Davos says. So it's Daenerys. Yeah, they talked about this the night before, right? Daenerys has the matches, but she doesn't see the signal because she's busy scouting the Night King. So they try to launch the fire using arrows and fail. Others who try to throw fire at the trenches also fail. And the dead have started breaching the wall.
0:27 But see this, in the middle of rushes and chaos, the Red Woman calmly walks out of the castle — flipping her robe, protected by the Unsullied, of course — and, although struggling at first, lights the trenches. Daenerys looks on from the air.
0:29 We are back in the crypt. How big is Winterfell's total population? How big is this crypt?
Tyrion says that if they are up there, they might see something that is missing.
Yeah, like your Commander in Chief ditching the battle plan.
"You'd die, there's nothing you can do," Sansa tells him.
Then Tyrion adds that maybe they both should have stayed married.
"You were the best of them," she replies. Aww.
"It wouldn't work between us," she continues, pointing to Tyrion's relationship with Daenerys, which is not received well by Missandei, who's sitting nearby.
0:31 Outside, they are on a standoff — the dead and living on the opposite sides, separated by lit up trenches. If only they have two dragons that can just torch the dead off, now that they are gathered in one place.
0:32 "They lit the trench," Theon tells everyone at the weirwood tree.
"Bran, I just want you to know, I wish the things I did..." Theon says.
"Everything you did brought you where you are now. Where you belong. Home," Bran replies.
"I’m going to go now," Bran says. Wait, what? Then he wargs into a bird and flies around the Night King.
0:34 Yeah great idea, huh, this waiting near the trenches thing? The wights use their bodies to kill the fire, making a bridge to the castle.
0:35 There he is. The Night King descends, and Jon comes face to face with him. Meanwhile, the dead are climbing the wall like maniacs. It's a mess.
*Oh save Jaime Lannister, please.*
0:39 The Hound is having a panic attack and is called up by Beric to get it together for Arya. Meanwhile, Arya's fight scene is one of the best — she's light and quick in clean, beautiful movements, Syrio Forel-style. *heart eyes emoji*
0:41 The mighty Lyanna Mormont charges at the giant wight and brings it down with her.
0:42 The two dragons — Drogon and Rhaegal — are still flying. Wtf have these two been doing.
0:43 The Night King and Viserion emerge again, spraying blue fire. Ooh I love blue fire! But they're chasing Daenerys and Drogon now.
0:44 Arya is trapped in the library. A few wights are milling around the room. She throws a book to distract them and makes a run for it. Then the wall behind her breaks, and a barrage of wights start chasing her.
0:48 Down at the crypt, it's quiet and eerie before people start banging from the outside trying to get in, which people on the inside ignore. Then it goes quiet and eerie again.
0:50 Beric and the Hound find Arya falling from a door, being attacked by a wight. They save Arya, and they all try to run from more wights.
Beric takes multiple stabs to save them, then the sad music starts playing. Ugh, he's going to die. The three manage to escape into a room.
0:52 Ok, Beric dies.
Melisandre emerges behind them. "The Lord brought him back for a purpose. Now that purpose has been served," she says. Then she reminds Arya about "the eyes that Arya's going to shut forever" — brown eyes, green eyes, blue eyes.
"What do we say to the God of Death?"
"Not today," Arya says.
0:54 The walkers are heard approaching the weirwood tree, and Theon and the gang are up with their bows and arrows.
0:55 Viserion blows the castle with blue fire. Alright, let’s give the Night King *two* dragons now. Rhaeghal and Viserion get into a fight. Both Jon and the Night King fall off their dragons.
0:57 Daenerys goes dracarys on the Night King, but he doesn't die! Instead he grabs his javelin and throws it — not f-ing again(!) — at Drogon, almost hitting it, but Drogon manages to escape.
Then the guy walks towards Winterfell. And here we go, Jon Snow running stupidly towards him. The King stops and raises his hands to wake the dead.
Wtf Jon. You know he’s been waiting for this.
And just like that, Jon is trapped in a sea of a new group of wights.
1:00 The dead start to rise inside of the castle too, just after they manage to kill most of them.
So do the dead Starks inside the crypt!
1:02 Back at the weirwood tree, there’s Theon fighting the wights. Sigh, Theon. I cannot watch this.
So it's chaos overdrive everywhere now.
1:03 Daenerys torches the group of wights that are attacking Jon, allowing him to sneak inside the castle. But now the wights are climbing on Drogon.
Drogon manages to fly away, but Daenerys falls off Drogon and is surrounded by wights.
But, of course, Jorah arrives at the right second to save Daenerys.
1:04 It’s raining men and wights.
1:05 We're back at the weirwood tree. I cannot watch this! And Bran is still warging.
1:06 The crypt is another mess. Sansa and Tyrion are hiding behind a tomb, almost having a moment. Cut it, you two. Do not kiss. Ok, they don't really. Tyrion kisses her hand.
1:07 A really good score on piano starts playing in the background.
If this is not only episode 3 — and you cannot make a TV show for eight seasons only for everyone to turn into wights — you can say that things are kind of super hopeless right now.
1:09 The Night King walks towards the weirwood tree while Theon is killing off every last wight charging at him. Seriously, he clears the field.
Then the Night King walks in and Bran opens his eyes. Did the Night King really just want Bran all along? Wtf is this?
"Theon, you are a good man. Thank you," Bran says.
What a heart-dropping moment.
Theon goes charging at the Night King. Damn if you do, damn if you don't. You can't just stand there and let the Night King come to you, though. You have to go run to him. Well, you are a Stark after all, Theon.
1:13 Goodbye, Theon.
My god, I love the score!
1:14 The Night King comes face to face with Bran and is reaching for his sword when Arya Stark jumps behind him with a dagger.
This is all in slow motion. We've been in slow motion for probably 10 minutes now.
He grabs her by the neck and the dagger falls. She catches it before it falls to the ground, and in one seamless motion the dagger goes into the Night King.
1:15 The Night King crumbles into thousands of tiny pieces. And so does his entire squad.
All the clean up they have to do tomorrow(!)
1:17 Ahh, Jorah dies in Daenerys' arms.
1:19 Melisandre walks out to the field, dropping her necklace on the way. (That lucky person who's going to find it tomorrow!) After all this, and you are just going to kill yourself?
The Long Night ends.
People want more bloodbath, apparently. Remember not too long ago we were all traumatized when major characters kept dying? How times have changed — now we want more death than George R R Martin does. There is always next time, guys.
Great pace, great music, great chaos, beautiful shots and heartbreaking enough. This is a great episode.
Image: HBO
Nobody:
Literally nobody:
Me: I'm reporting from Winterfell.
_____
0:03 Theon casually wheels Bran out to the weirwood tree because that's the plan. Just a bait to draw out the evil king, who can do powerful magic and wants everybody dead but has like 0.006% chance — tops — to be killed himself. No big deal.
0:04 The last of the Unsullied marches into the field. I give it to these people, they line up super straight like it’s all measured with rulers. The rows of people and Winterfell all lit up look beautiful too*, like they are all here to celebrate something. Except it's awfully quiet and cold and they are about to fight creatures that almost cannot die. (*Come on, people. It's in the middle of the night. It's appropriately dark.)
0:06 A lone rider approaches the Winterfell gang — it's Melisandre. The Red Woman asks the Dothraki to lift their swords, and she goes to light their weapons. Whoa, I'm geeking out so hard right now.
But wait, only the Dothraki? Grey Worm and gang don’t get flaming swords?
0:09 Melisandre is let into the castle, and before Davos gets the chance to chastise her, she tells Davos, “There is no need to execute me, Ser Davos. I’ll be dead before the dawn.”
0:11 So it begins. Nothing happens on the other side yet, but the Dothraki have started hollering, and two seconds later they are charging towards the Night King's line.
So they are sending Jorah Mormont, Ghost and the Dothraki first.
0:12 People who stay back launch the fireballs. I don't trust this thing.
0:13 Then it suddenly gets dark and quiet. All the light and yelling are completely gone. F. This is awkward.
Correction: so they are sending Jorah Mormont, Ghost and the Dothraki to die first.
And just like that the Dothraki are off the payroll.
0:14 But wait — Jorah, a couple of people and some horses return. That went so well, though.
0:15 So now here come the white walkers.
0:16 The dragons are out. Well, five minutes earlier would be better.
Only that, according to the internet, this is not supposed to happen yet. The dragon squad is supposed to wait until the Night King shows himself.
I don't know — one blow of fire, hundreds of walkers dead — sounds pretty good to me.
Then the sky gets even darker and blurry with an avalanche of ice and smoke and ashes and angry cloud.
0:19 Sam falls and screams for Edd. His eye is two inches away from a white walker's blade. Edd saves Sam and yells at him to get up. And we have our first major casualty for the night — the great, loyal sidekick that is Eddison Tollett. Come on. One of my favourites.
0:20 Sansa goes down to the crypt, which only says that things are not looking good out there. Tyrion takes a swig.
0:21 Did Daenerys and Jon's dragons just collide mid-air?
Tormund and Brienne order everyone to fall back, with the Unsullied providing cover. Since the Unsullied march in perfect lines, they are also being slaughtered row by row.
0:25 Grey Worm yells, "Light the trenches! Light the trenches!" And Davos gives a fire signal to somebody. Who? The trenches are still not being lighted. Who has the matches?
0:26 "She can't see us," Davos says. So it's Daenerys. Yeah, they talked about this the night before, right? Daenerys has the matches, but she doesn't see the signal because she's busy scouting the Night King. So they try to launch the fire using arrows and fail. Others who try to throw fire at the trenches also fail. And the dead have started breaching the wall.
0:27 But see this, in the middle of rushes and chaos, the Red Woman calmly walks out of the castle — flipping her robe, protected by the Unsullied, of course — and, although struggling at first, lights the trenches. Daenerys looks on from the air.
0:29 We are back in the crypt. How big is Winterfell's total population? How big is this crypt?
Tyrion says that if they are up there, they might see something that is missing.
Yeah, like your Commander in Chief ditching the battle plan.
"You'd die, there's nothing you can do," Sansa tells him.
Then Tyrion adds that maybe they both should have stayed married.
"You were the best of them," she replies. Aww.
"It wouldn't work between us," she continues, pointing to Tyrion's relationship with Daenerys, which is not received well by Missandei, who's sitting nearby.
0:31 Outside, they are on a standoff — the dead and living on the opposite sides, separated by lit up trenches. If only they have two dragons that can just torch the dead off, now that they are gathered in one place.
0:32 "They lit the trench," Theon tells everyone at the weirwood tree.
"Bran, I just want you to know, I wish the things I did..." Theon says.
"Everything you did brought you where you are now. Where you belong. Home," Bran replies.
"I’m going to go now," Bran says. Wait, what? Then he wargs into a bird and flies around the Night King.
0:34 Yeah great idea, huh, this waiting near the trenches thing? The wights use their bodies to kill the fire, making a bridge to the castle.
0:35 There he is. The Night King descends, and Jon comes face to face with him. Meanwhile, the dead are climbing the wall like maniacs. It's a mess.
*Oh save Jaime Lannister, please.*
0:39 The Hound is having a panic attack and is called up by Beric to get it together for Arya. Meanwhile, Arya's fight scene is one of the best — she's light and quick in clean, beautiful movements, Syrio Forel-style. *heart eyes emoji*
0:41 The mighty Lyanna Mormont charges at the giant wight and brings it down with her.
0:42 The two dragons — Drogon and Rhaegal — are still flying. Wtf have these two been doing.
0:43 The Night King and Viserion emerge again, spraying blue fire. Ooh I love blue fire! But they're chasing Daenerys and Drogon now.
0:44 Arya is trapped in the library. A few wights are milling around the room. She throws a book to distract them and makes a run for it. Then the wall behind her breaks, and a barrage of wights start chasing her.
0:48 Down at the crypt, it's quiet and eerie before people start banging from the outside trying to get in, which people on the inside ignore. Then it goes quiet and eerie again.
0:50 Beric and the Hound find Arya falling from a door, being attacked by a wight. They save Arya, and they all try to run from more wights.
Beric takes multiple stabs to save them, then the sad music starts playing. Ugh, he's going to die. The three manage to escape into a room.
0:52 Ok, Beric dies.
Melisandre emerges behind them. "The Lord brought him back for a purpose. Now that purpose has been served," she says. Then she reminds Arya about "the eyes that Arya's going to shut forever" — brown eyes, green eyes, blue eyes.
"What do we say to the God of Death?"
"Not today," Arya says.
0:54 The walkers are heard approaching the weirwood tree, and Theon and the gang are up with their bows and arrows.
0:55 Viserion blows the castle with blue fire. Alright, let’s give the Night King *two* dragons now. Rhaeghal and Viserion get into a fight. Both Jon and the Night King fall off their dragons.
0:57 Daenerys goes dracarys on the Night King, but he doesn't die! Instead he grabs his javelin and throws it — not f-ing again(!) — at Drogon, almost hitting it, but Drogon manages to escape.
Then the guy walks towards Winterfell. And here we go, Jon Snow running stupidly towards him. The King stops and raises his hands to wake the dead.
Wtf Jon. You know he’s been waiting for this.
And just like that, Jon is trapped in a sea of a new group of wights.
1:00 The dead start to rise inside of the castle too, just after they manage to kill most of them.
So do the dead Starks inside the crypt!
1:02 Back at the weirwood tree, there’s Theon fighting the wights. Sigh, Theon. I cannot watch this.
So it's chaos overdrive everywhere now.
1:03 Daenerys torches the group of wights that are attacking Jon, allowing him to sneak inside the castle. But now the wights are climbing on Drogon.
Drogon manages to fly away, but Daenerys falls off Drogon and is surrounded by wights.
But, of course, Jorah arrives at the right second to save Daenerys.
1:04 It’s raining men and wights.
1:05 We're back at the weirwood tree. I cannot watch this! And Bran is still warging.
1:06 The crypt is another mess. Sansa and Tyrion are hiding behind a tomb, almost having a moment. Cut it, you two. Do not kiss. Ok, they don't really. Tyrion kisses her hand.
1:07 A really good score on piano starts playing in the background.
If this is not only episode 3 — and you cannot make a TV show for eight seasons only for everyone to turn into wights — you can say that things are kind of super hopeless right now.
1:09 The Night King walks towards the weirwood tree while Theon is killing off every last wight charging at him. Seriously, he clears the field.
Then the Night King walks in and Bran opens his eyes. Did the Night King really just want Bran all along? Wtf is this?
"Theon, you are a good man. Thank you," Bran says.
What a heart-dropping moment.
Theon goes charging at the Night King. Damn if you do, damn if you don't. You can't just stand there and let the Night King come to you, though. You have to go run to him. Well, you are a Stark after all, Theon.
1:13 Goodbye, Theon.
My god, I love the score!
1:14 The Night King comes face to face with Bran and is reaching for his sword when Arya Stark jumps behind him with a dagger.
This is all in slow motion. We've been in slow motion for probably 10 minutes now.
He grabs her by the neck and the dagger falls. She catches it before it falls to the ground, and in one seamless motion the dagger goes into the Night King.
1:15 The Night King crumbles into thousands of tiny pieces. And so does his entire squad.
All the clean up they have to do tomorrow(!)
1:17 Ahh, Jorah dies in Daenerys' arms.
1:19 Melisandre walks out to the field, dropping her necklace on the way. (That lucky person who's going to find it tomorrow!) After all this, and you are just going to kill yourself?
The Long Night ends.
_____
People want more bloodbath, apparently. Remember not too long ago we were all traumatized when major characters kept dying? How times have changed — now we want more death than George R R Martin does. There is always next time, guys.
Great pace, great music, great chaos, beautiful shots and heartbreaking enough. This is a great episode.
Image: HBO
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