Cheat Work Thursday

Yesterday was a challenge. It couldn't be any more obvious, I went to the supermarket twice in one weekend night *shudders* to get my mind off something. The result: I still forgot the detergent, and I craved for and bought that rip off sandwich that rhymes with Tubway. On the plus side, I like all the other things I bought and feel a lil' bit ok by the time I'm writing this. I hope the week is going to be a lot better. I asked my mother to teach me making doughnuts last Friday (I was at hometown Thursday to Saturday). I probably fried some of them 10 seconds too long, but here are two pictures: Thank you if you are going to be kind this week. Never underestimate the difference your act of kindness can make to others. It can save souls, and lives :).

When I blogged that I was going to have a bit of free time , I was actually waiting for a result, which I expected to come out next week. It will officially come out next week, but I already knew the outcome yesterday, and it didn't turn out in my favour. So unless a miracle happens, I'll be dealing with this in the next five weeks: life's little imperfection. Miracle and luck sound nice, but I'm practical enough not to depend my life on them. I'll make myself obsessed with routine to get through this. I'll get up early and say my thanks for all the good things that I have. Take my time and enjoy my food. Look my best. Do meaningful work. Breathe and exercise. Clean my mind and concentrate on all things positive. Have a good rest and sleep. Only watch and read pleasant movies and books. Laugh out loud. I'm going to get through this sane or and happy. - Haven't been watching Glee for ages. Saw the first episode of season 4 last week. ...

Have you ever had water from a jug as an adult? ..... Clearly you have never climbed into bed in a cold weather, all warm and wrapped under the blanket, laptop strategically placed on the bed, then reached for the water on your bedside table only to realize the glass was not there. While I spend most of my waking hours thinking of the best way to be a real adult, life is easier if you don't constrain yourself with so many rules. I've been reading about loss and grieving recently, or rather just seven minutes ago, from the internet. Had no idea they have stages. A while ago, I did lose... no, not people, everyone's alive, it's more like a thing . Apparently, the process of grieving starts with denial and isolation, followed by anger, bargaining and depression, and ends with acceptance. Denial, isolation, anger... ........... Uhm, I'm deeefinitely at the beginning of acceptance stage right now. The only thing is, I can't remember ever going throug...

I've been doing a lot of cooking these past few months — partly to eat healthily. A pinch less MSG, oil, salt and sugar, and an extra cup of fresh-or-not-overcooked vegetables a day adds up to a lot in a year, right? I still go to, for example, McDonald's, of course. I hate myself a little each time I eagerly grab take the pancake bag, but the drive-thru is so convenient. And the pancakes are so yummy. And I love McDonald's coffee. Two days before puasa, I went grocery shopping, feeling ambitious, thinking maybe I could try to make kurma or chicken curry for a change. I don't know much about cooking, you knew that already, but anyone who can read can also cook — with instant mixes. So I grabbed four or five packets of those kurma, black pepper, sweet & sour etc mixes, and the dishes turned out ok — as per my standard, which is not very high, I suspect. They only take me about 20 minutes in the kitchen. I'd start at 7 and finish just in time for berbuka. And...

Each time I hear Green Day's 21 Guns (and The Fray's How to Save a Life) on the radio, I can't help feeling like Green Day is really in my car singing, "When it's time to live and let die, and you can't get another try," to me. I don't catch the whole lyrics, nor do I really understand them, but it feels like part of the song understands how scared I sometimes feel, I can almost hug the radio. Seeing people on the street who are clearly struggling with severe mental illness, sometimes I wonder what happened to them that brought them here, but I'm also afraid to know the answer. One who can often be spotted around Jalan Gurney and Tun Razak is a man who walks around with a stroller (without the baby, of course). The man almost made me skid to the other lane today because I took two seconds longer to look at him, and I was at a corner. Let's promise that the next time we feel defeated, we'll fight and bring back whatever it was that once ...

One of my favourite scenes in SATC: The Movie is this New Year's Auld Lang Syne scene when Carrie crosses the town to see Miranda. Some of us probably watched the movie again on HBO last Sunday, despite maybe having already watched it for more than 10 times in the past 15 months. I did, with a blanket and hot Milo. Only my second time, and I thought it was funnier and more heartbreaking than the only other time I watched it. Is it because I'm now making comparisons watching it? LOL. Things were different last year, I know. I lost a couple of friends (and have probably 1 and 1/2 new ones) in the past 20 months or so. Oh no, they are not dead. They are still alive. I know this because I check the obituary every day. We are just... not so friends anymore, drifting away, having different lives. Well, I'll take part of the blame. I've not been a very good friend lately either . As for the other part, I understand that I can't expect people to have all the time and ...

Some time ago, I was sort of 'featured' a couple of times on several publications for some work that I did. ('Featured' is a strong word, but using the right one would be too much information, so let's just pretend here.) Some of my friends would go "Really? When?" if they hear this, by the way. Not that I'm so over the moon over the printing part, they were tiny anyway, you have to use magnifying glass to see them. But staring at your name associated to a good thing, ha, I so freaking admired myself -- at that time. Recently, I was told that I may get my name printed again, but this time not for a good reason. I was lucky and got rescued early this week. The word 'rescued' isn't really good for the ego, I tell ya. With one surprise after another, life is still kind by giving me one good thing or two during every unfortunate event. I'm jotting this down, so years from now when I look back into old posts, I'll be reminded of...

It has been a trying an interesting week, but I'm already too numb. Naturally, it's very tempting to ramble about it, but it's easier to just switch it off and move on. Hitting a new level of low is a very humbling experience. Not a bad lesson to learn, too, I guess. I don't know, I'm still figuring this out. There'll be another two interesting weeks ahead. Meanwhile, if you've been good this week, I hope you'll have a great weekend!

I so could use some positive energy to get me through the next two weeks (for now). The Secret ? Check . Exercise? Trying . I've checked everywhere and collected whatever tiny good things that I can find — from under the bed, in the closet, in my handbag (there's a piece of old Kit Kat in there, it still tastes ok).

I realize certain things should stop weighing me down. So I'm due again, boxing baggage and shipping it away: guilt, hurt, lost causes, those poor, poor fashion decisions. I'm taking a bow, moving on and making space for new good things. Image: Againstar / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

People say that everything Oprah touches turns to gold (maybe except for Tom Cruise and the sofa). Every time she mentions a book on her show, we know thousands will look for it. I've tried reading The New Earth but only managed a few pages -- those that I flipped through at the bookstore. Though I'll admit to making a few calls to locate the nearest store for Eat Pray Love after learning about it from the show (read my regret here ). At one point, I was kind of searching for The Pillars of the Earth too. Mitch Albom, author of Tuesdays with Morrie and The Five People You Meet in Heaven, was on Oprah today with his book (also a movie) For One More Day -- a story about a washed out salesman intending to end his life, granted a day to spend with his departed mother. Only when they started to discuss this question did it get my attention, "If you could spend one more day with someone you have loved and lost, what would you do?" "When it comes to the words p...