A Year Better

Have you ever had water from a jug as an adult? ..... Clearly you have never climbed into bed in a cold weather, all warm and wrapped under the blanket, laptop strategically placed on the bed, then reached for the water on your bedside table only to realize the glass was not there.

While I spend most of my waking hours thinking of the best way to be a real adult, life is easier if you don't constrain yourself with so many rules.

I've been reading about loss and grieving recently, or rather just seven minutes ago, from the internet. Had no idea they have stages.

A while ago, I did lose... no, not people, everyone's alive, it's more like a thing. Apparently, the process of grieving starts with denial and isolation, followed by anger, bargaining and depression, and ends with acceptance.

Denial, isolation, anger...

...........

Uhm, I'm deeefinitely at the beginning of acceptance stage right now.

The only thing is, I can't remember ever going through any bargaining stage. Basically, bargaining stage is when you ask for things to go back to where they were before, where you wish you did take a particular action to avoid the loss. No, I don't remember going through that. When I search in my head if there were things that I wish I did differently... Ok, maybe there were one or two very small things, but overall, I have to be I am ok with all the things that have happened. I wouldn't be able to see things the way I see them now if I hadn't gone through those experiences.

I'm not sure about depression either. That's a bit too dramatic, don't you think? Depression? Haha. Tiiinyy bit sad and hurt, maybe.

So, as I wisely concluded earlier, I'm at the beginning of acceptance stage right now. Sometimes anger, sadness and even the need to isolate myself do creep up, but they show up less and less now and get smaller and smaller every time. I don't know if it's a lot, but I've never felt this safe in a long time, so I'll take it.

But where was my bargaining stage? Oh wth, if it doesn't make any difference, what do I need it for? Denial, anger and depression sadness were taxing enough. I don't need another stage to deal with, do I?

Or am I still well at denial stage? F.

Nah.

Acceptance. Definitely.

*Close websites.*

There's nothing Google cannot solve.

(I've also been reading a lot of art and creative blogs lately. Will put up the list on the sidebar soon.)

Image: bluntcard.com