Cheat Work Thursday

"THERE'S ALWAYS A TWIST" Bonus Island has definitely diluted the usual excitement of a merge a little with the voted out players' re-entry, a close-finish challenge, the oohs and owwhs from the courtside seats, the heartbreaking losses and goodbyes, another cheer for a third life in the game, and the white flag raised for the first time! I mean, I'm kind of indifferent about people letting go of a chance to win a million dollars; I just want to see this flag ceremony 🍿. So the vote this week went 6-3-2-2 : Eric, Julia, Julie, Gavin, Ron and Victoria voted for Joe . Kelley, Lauren and Wardog voted for David . Aurora and Joe voted for Rick . David and Rick voted for Kelley . The votes were scattered but pretty easy to follow. It was clear who was friends with who at the merge. The six Kamas who voted for Joe are still not the majority next week and do not have any idols on them. So it will only take the other side banding together and using one of the...

"IT'S LIKE THE WORST COCKTAIL PARTY EVER" Lesu in challenges is gold. They cheer for each other, but their yelling and bickering are better. And I'm sorry. As much as I should say some uplifting words about never giving up or something, I'm also watching a TV show. Their struggles are comical. Maybe it's because 75% of the tribe members look athletic and the other 25% is allegedly good at puzzles, and yet they still lose most of the time. They have in their tribe two highly hyped returnees, one college athlete and a man named Wardog for god's sake! During the first reward challenge, David struggles to stand on Wardog's shoulders to reach the bolos. And after several failed attempts, he is replaced by Lauren, who yells at Wardog when she falls face first, not being caught properly by her team. Then Wardog struggles to land the bolo on target. I mean, I'm sure many others would have the same problem if their name were not Joey Amazing, but we a...

Ha. The title made me giggle. Come on, it's a perfect porn title! I hate cheesy romance and never understood Fifty Shades. But romance books have to be cheesy a little, right? And I don't think I was entirely against romance books either. Maybe I just hate the overly cheesy ones? But I read Twilight, so, yeah, maybe I'm not the authority here. I remember romance books from the '90s, those with illustrations of topless men on the covers. A few that I tried reading were all cheesy. I don't think I've ever finished reading one. In other words, my life was fine until Goodreads brought me to m/m new adult romance this year: love stories of adults who don't say "make love" but just say sex or f*ck. Dusts hands. Regardless of what I just said, look at me, I pixelate the word f*ck. So I found Lisa Henry. I scanned her list of books and went, "I can't read that... Maybe not that... Or not that either... Not yet... OMG I CANNOT READ THAT !...

"I NEED A DANCE PARTNER" The Bonus Island isn’t too bad these days. The occupants are still hungry and unhappy and cold, but it seems like this gang of miserable misfits has started to grow into a potentially good TV. Chris arrives at Bonus Island with no warm welcome, especially not from Keith, who on the next day is staring at the white flag, imagining food, shower and warmth, looking close to raising it. Then Chris catches two tiny fish, and the three start to like each other a little. Meanwhile at the main island, they are swapping into three tribes: Kama — Aurora, Joe, Julia, Julie, Ron. Manu — Aubry, Eric, Gavin, Victoria, Wendy. Lesu — David, Kelley, Lauren, Rick, Wardog. Three days ago, Wendy hid the flint to save the chickens. This week, she just releases them out of the coop, does a little island cheer in the dark and vomits a barrage of intel about the old Manu to her new tribe. It’s kind of hilarious, though, that this team of five — David, Kelle...

"BETRAYALS ARE GOING TO GET EXPOSED" When these people say they haven’t eaten in days, they just mean they haven’t eaten rice in days, right? They still eat coconut, at least? Because how are you still on your feet with absolutely nothing going into your stomach for three days? I’d gone without food for 20 hours before. I wanted to raise the flag by hour four. Also, how does Keith get food the next day at Bonus Island, but Reem did not? Did anyone think the concept of this island through? Anyway, there's a huge development happening at Kama this week. They have alliances! There's one that consists of Victoria, Gavin, Eric, Julie, Julia and Ron because they are not into returnees. And there's another that consists of Joe, Aubry and Aurora. Ok, that's all. We're getting back to Manu because Wendy's there. So Wendy's tribemates are starving. Any amount of food will help them win the next immunity challenge. And her tribe winning immunity i...

"ONE OF US IS GOING TO WIN THE WAR" I'd throw a challenge just to vote Ron Clark out if he ever subjected me to any dancing, especially if it's in my underwear. Raise your hand, eight people. You are laughing, but I know you want to do the same. But I also think "What do you think of me coming back and stealing your chance of winning Survivor after two failed attempts?" and "I just want to have a dialogue; you remind me of myself" speeches repeated to multiple people around the camp are almost equally atrocious. But the new players have some entertaining, jaw-dropping moments too. Wendy tells Rick that she doesn't want to side with Kelley, who has already got her shots on Survivor — just in front of David. And Keith is just unbelievably all-around amazing. One: how are his parting words, "Y'all still think you're going to win challenges?" when he seemed to be the one who struggled the most at the challenge? Two: how ...