Cheat Work Thursday

"NOT GOING DOWN WITHOUT A FIGHT" The thing about these final three is, each of them could make a case for themselves. We were shown that Aubry was the strongest player, turning her position in the minority and going against the threat of a "super" idol, but the jury wants Michele to win. Good thing at this point, Michele won't have to f-ing care if people think she doesn't deserve it. If only the show showed us more of this Michele's "social game", though, then we probably wouldn't end up with this little confusion. And if only Tai was able to present his case better, the race could seem much closer. Because I don't think Tai was a bad player; he turned on people to fend for himself and is still much more likeable than many. Selling himself is just not his best skill. Let's go back a few days. Final Four Aubry wins the first reward challenge, and she brings Cydney along for the lunch, again, leaving Tai and Michele to ...

"WITH ME OR NOT WITH ME" The episode starts on the night of Jason's vote. Good line: " Everybody has a voice, including you, Joe... " ~ Tai, while they are trying to untangle the mess of the night's tribal. Tai then completes the speech by telling Michele that he had two alliances before and none of them included her. Okayy , Tai. The next day, Joe wins an overnight spa and lunch reward and brings Aubry and Cydney along. Meanwhile, back at camp, Michele and Tai realize perhaps they are the low men on the totem pole. So both of them talk, have their own spa day at camp and surprise themselves with the possibility of working together. Aubry, her ideal final three being Joe and Tai, wants to mend her relationship with Tai too, and it seems to be working. But the reward's steak kebab has a say this week. And it's making Joe sick. Even in his last hour in the game, Joe doesn't look like he's in much pain, but I imagine, just lik...

"NOW'S THE TIME TO START SCHEMING" The episode starts with a good line: " ... That's why I voted for Julia, because there's no better way to show my loyalty than to vote out my biggest ally in this game. " ~ Michele. Suddenly, Joe is allowed airtime. We know what this means. Not this week. Next week. By now we also learn that Joe's edit includes him being a liiitle grumpy and bossy, especially with his instructions, but his loyalty to Aubry is mind-blowing. I say edit because I refuse to believe that there are only two sides of Joe for these 30 days of him on the island. Survivor knows what it's doing with its characters. Otherwise, millions of its viewers like myself wouldn't have stuck around this long, season after season. So yes, not highlighting Anna's breasts, for example, will probably break the formulas that have already worked. Reward is a great one. Jason, Michele and Tai win an afternoon at the Wildlife Alliance w...

"IT'S A 'ME' GAME, NOT A 'WE' GAME" It's either I've become too desensitized to Survivor drama, or the expectation has become too high for a good episode, or I'm just looking for an excuse to justify my lack of motivation to continue writing about it. But it feels like there's not much left to talk about this season. It doesn't mean I'm bored with Survivor. That's impossible. I'd need help if the show ever ends. And I don't think this is a bad season either. I watched Thailand , SJDS and Fiji . A less than stellar season of Survivor is still Survivor; it still makes me giddy even after these two million episodes. So, after Scot's vote, people are regrouping. While Tai makes an attempt to mend his relationship with Jason to a lukewarm welcome, Julia seems to be drawn back to Jason. At the reward, won by Michele and Cydney, Michele tries to rebuild her bonds with Aubry and Cydney. Back at camp, Jason and ...

"I'M NOT HERE TO MAKE GOOD FRIENDS" "We like providing for you, but you have to do what we want you to do. We are nice people like that." ~ Essentially what Scot is saying to Aubry the morning after Debbie's vote, his idea of mending fences, being the bigger person and showing maturity. Good line: " Okay. It's a lot to say first thing in the morning, but... " ~ Aubry. I love that the players get to choose the reward they are competing for at the reward challenge. Julia outlasts Joe for the letter from home, Michele defeats Scot and Jason for food, and Tai beats Aubry and Cydney for an advantage: an extra vote at tribal. This is one of the good episodes. Julia proposes to Aubry and Michele that they vote Tai out. After striking out Julia's name and replacing it with Peter, then blindsiding Debbie, very few things scare Aubry now. She goes to Tai, pulling him to her side, and out-spits Jason at the immunity challenge in style. On...

"IT'S PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE" Apparently, another plan for the big group last tribal was to vote for Jason. Tai missed the last minute memo to change it to Nick, thus his vote for Jason. In panic, he tells Jason that he voted for Debbie, and now he's stuck in an alliance with Scot and Jason. So Tai, Scot and Jason turn themselves into J'tia and the Three Amigos: hiding axe and machete, dumping water on the fire, and flaunting idols like a**holes at tribal council. To be clear, it's not a compliment. At the reward challenge, the schoolyard pick for teams spells war: - Joe volunteers to sit out. He'll join the group that he's rooting for if they win; he bets on the women. - Scot, Jason and Tai stick together and open a spot for one of the women. Julia volunteers herself. - The other team of Aubry, Debbie, Michele and Cydney loses the challenge. Julia is expanding her options. Going to the finals with two unlikeable players like Scot and Jaso...

"THE JOCKS VS. THE PRETTY PEOPLE" Oh edit, and the good old times when we didn't care about it. So, Jason and Scot got a little "heartwarming" edit with their family story this week. Did it melt my cold heart a little? Not at all. So, no, this is not it. Jason and Scot are not going to win. The next question is, why only now does Storm decide to grace us with her presence ie when she's questioning her fellow Brawns on why she feels like her allegiance is being checked by them after she went out paddling with the girls and Tai? Boot episode, next week? 😉 Five minutes into the immunity challenge, Jeffrey offers everyone food, a lot of food, if they drop out of the challenge. Jason, Joe, Scot and Michele choose pizzas, brownies, drumsticks, hotdogs and cold drinks; Nick steps out after the last Brain is eliminated, announcing it's one of the Brains leaving that night; and Tai wins the challenge. The Brawn-Beauty's plan is to split the vote be...

"IT'S MERGE TIME" It's the merge. Maneuvering his way in the middle of drunk people at the merge feast, surprisingly, Nick doesn't sound terrible this week. Probably because I also just found a couple of his kind-of-funny self-mocking tweets. I decide how much I like people on Survivor based on their tweets. (Sigh, Tyler Fredrickson, so much potential.) So he makes friends with everyone and discusses their next move with Michele as a partner, instead of as a "bro". Boot episode, next week? Kidding. Ish. Good line: Aubry, filling Debbie in: Peter went insane. Sexual innuendos are what enrich Survivor. An episode without Jeff Probst mentioning "balls" during the challenge is a slow episode. But this week it goes overdrive. The viewers are probably already numb with just two mentions of "poles and balls", so let's throw everything at once this week and make these immature people roll on the floor. Everyone, participate! Sa...

"PLAY OR GO HOME" There really isn't much drama this week. Neal, good at challenges and has given us two Science lessons so far, is blended in the background again. Joe is strange, interrogating Peter the way he does -- asking Peter if Peter's targeting him -- because he's a "retired FBI guy". This is probably not Michele's best week -- she had just lost an ally in Anna and probably caused her tribe to lose the reward challenge -- but all of her secret outrage at confessionals this week is great. " I don't need to be carried, bro! " ~ her response in front of the camera to Nick's explaining their supposed plan moving forward. " Bro, I know ." Iconic soundbites. And since last week, I've finally learned that all the people who had Anna as their winner's pick were male. Should have known. In short, Gondol loses immunity again. Peter knows he's on the bottom with the Brains. Aubry and Joe just d...

"THE DEVILS WE KNOW" Neal gets more airtime this week, which makes me nervous. - Kelly Wiglesworth and Tyler Fredrickson were allowed to say a few lines when the end was near. - Even with more airtime, his idol hunt is sped up, which is great. I can't watch another starving, grown person lose control of their bleeding legs, sliding down a coconut tree. - Except for one confessional about making his own luck, his airtime is mostly just small filler soundbites, though -- as if the producers need to start showing him for some reason but don't have a lot of material to go with, which may be good in a way, I guess. He's probably not one of those people who incessantly play up for the camera for more airtime. - From a secret scene, apparently, Neal is a provider at Brains, but it's not shown on the show. Why? Is he not going to win so there is no need to worry about his resume, or is he going to win but the editor is hiding him so that it won't be so o...

"SIGNED, SEALED AND DELIVERED" The medical emergency was overwhelming and scary. But I'm also giving a dirty look to the producers for the score in the background and Caleb's overall edit. Ok, I don't think he did anything wrong. I can believe that he is well-liked by his tribemates and genuinely loves the adventure, but the edit was also a perfect, too sweet setup for the way he departs the game. If you haven't already spoiled, it's like now you'll find things to click. I don't mind being manipulated by TV as long as we both acknowledge that's what's going on here. Chocolate chips* on top is how the show really spells it out for us that Caleb is going to return. I don't have a problem with that, you know, if other contestants are busy but my cold heart still doesn't find Caleb that compelling. (*I hate cherry.) That said, I can only imagine being under the sun for an hour, pushing your body -- which already doesn't get...

"THE CIRCLE OF LIFE" Great episode. Delicious, delicious last words. Regardless of how much she trusted Cydney, Alecia should have kept the clue to herself. Anyone, including Cydney, would agree. I don't care if his “emotional” item is a stuffed animal. The idol-snatching drama just cemented Jason's a**hole status. I think I heard Jason say in a pregame interview that he'd play like Russell Hantz. A – Why? B – I've forgotten most parts of Samoa, but I'm not sure if Russell was entirely not charming on that season. Russell was ruthless, but if I remember it correctly, I feel like he was at least fun (funny?) to watch. Jason is just a pain. He doesn't care to hide it from anybody that he has no respect for Alecia. He seems like that kind of person who must find somebody to pick on to feel good about themselves. He sounds so proud every time he gets the chance to dismiss Alecia. Alecia is not really what we call a Survivor strategist, but I...

"KINDERGARTEN CAMP" Alecia is confused. But so are about 6.9 billion people in the world about their daily lives. So I don't think it's the strangest thing to be confused in a game of lying, cheating and stealing. Knock yourself out, Alecia. I can finally put Jason into a category: he's a douche. His snarky comments aren't funny, and he's too douchey to realize that the game can change at any time. Alecia is on the bottom, confused and has no friends right now. But that could be him soon. And with two huge holes on your earlobes and one huge boombox tattoo on your midsection, I don't think you have the right to call anybody "Ostrich". And have fun watching with your family -- of yourself wanting to feed “Blondie” with your-skin-infested water. At Brains, Liz turns a bit emotional because she couldn't get boiled water (thanks, Joe) and her lips have started to chap, and Joe turns cranky. Come on, people. It has only been six days ...

"I'M A MENTAL GIANT" The season starts with what sounds like War of the Worlds ' score with the three tribes on a boat to the starting line. We are then warned that this is going to be the most grueling 39 days in Survivor history* and introduced to the contestants and Jason's cringing habit of cracking his fingers. (*A few other seasons would like to have a word. You still live by the beach with plenty of trees.) Let's talk about some of the cast: Nick – Nick says his life is better because he's better looking than most people -- if you have no idea what too much self-esteem looks like. Many say that he's (over)playing a character, "Oh, you're putting me on the Beauty tribe? Let me play you the stereotypical self-absorbed-douchey-beautiful-people." Ugh, please make it a hard role to take on, Nick. Jason – From the pregame interview, I wanted to like Jason, the long-haired bounty hunter with tattoos that I'd question and ...