Cheat Work Thursday

"I SEE THE MILLION DOLLARS" "Who's angry?" Turns out you can build a winner's story in one week, even for someone that you've totally forgotten about , and I'm buying it! Not because this story is also about a young, good looking male who every time he goes fishing, a portion of Twitter goes hyperventilating. Totally not . So yeah, I wish it was Victoria's story. In her laid-back confessionals yet with horns and claws, she probably had her finger on the pulse more than any other players did in the game. If only she had just two idols. Soclose. This season did have some good weeks in the middle, but the several weeks leading to the finale were kind of rough. But I say the finale was goood! And I'm saying this while sipping coffee, scrolling the internet outrage at the result. (I also get that most of the internet is hating the game, not the player. Still...) Dear internet, the guy and ten others who were waiting this out got...

"IDOL OR BUST" This is the episode which highlight is everyone at Extinction Island receiving a letter from... themselves prior to the game? Sigh. That was so close. Food would be better. So is it possible that for the first time ever my winner pick actually wins the game? But how will Victoria get there? What kind of magic story she's building in the finale next week to support this? We really haven't seen that much of Victoria, tbh. But it's still possible for a Victoria win, right? Maybe her FTC story will be "I didn't receive a single vote all season. I was always in the know of where the votes were going. I let people eat each other up because in this era of Survivor, making the flashy move will only get you targeted." Because I don't think Rick is going to win. That will be too easy. And I don't think anyone currently at Extinction Island is going to win either. Besides Reem, we've forgotten about every single one of them. T...

"AWKWARD" This is an episode which highlight is Rick climbing a tree. After the Wardog vote, Rick realizes how he's just kept being lied to over and over again by Ron. But that doesn't stop Ron from doing some damage control and lying to Rick one more time, so he gives his expired advantage to Rick to show that he's loyal and trustworthy. As if that's not odd. If it's a real idol... You. Won't. Give. It. Away. To. Others. (Well, usually.) Ron wins the loved ones visit, and he picks Julie and Gavin to enjoy the lunch reward with him. Victoria tells us that this makes her relook at relationships in the game. Loved ones visit is huge, apparently. Who you pick tells a lot. Back at camp, a few people get caught looking into Rick's bag but the heat is on Aurora because her hand is on Rick's bag when he walks in, but she nonchalantly brushes it off. "I'd feel awkward if I got caught looking through someone's bag," Rick say...

"FASTEN YOUR SEATBELTS" This is an episode which highlight is Wardog tripping at the reward challenge. There were three people left out of the Kelley vote — Lauren, Gavin and Julie. Lauren is mad at Wardog and now out for blood. Gavin is also pissed for being "talked to like a dog" by Wardog. But miraculously, Julie tells Ron that she's not angry at him. "I don't hold anything against you, Ron. Please, I'm not like that. I'm not super emotional, as emotional as I am in this game," she says. Rick, Wardog and Ron talk about shielding each other, being each other's biggest threat in the game right now. Well, Rick and Wardog mostly. Ron confesses that he still can be anyone's ally at this point, and despite working together in the last vote, he does think that Wardog is a loose cannon. Lauren, Ron, Victoria, Aurora and Gavin are talking about voting out Rick, while Ron also doesn't get along with Aurora. The two arguing a...

"BLOOD OF A BLINDSIDE" It's a deja vu. We start the episode, again, with Kelley, Lauren and Wardog in a majority group of six, but this time, the other three are Gavin, Julie and Ron, instead of Gavin, Julia and Victoria. On top of that, they also have a name now, "Lesu 3", and are apparently "the power trio" currently "controlling the game". Wardog is even described as someone who's "playing a very good game". Before the first tribal, the division was Kelley, Lauren and Wardog on one side, and David and Rick on the other. Then we are shown the possibility of Aurora and Victoria siding with David and Rick, with Ron and Julie being the deciding vote. Julie seems to be on board with this more than Ron does, while Gavin is just floating somewhere in the air. But the vote went 8-2 for David in the end. Looks like the "my brand is loyalty" didn't really work out for him: Aurora, Gavin, Julie, Kelley, Lauren, ...

“Y’ALL MAKING ME CRAZY” We start the episode with Kelley Wentworth suddenly having a ride or die of six majority that includes Gavin, Julia and Victoria. How did that happen? But the episode's biggest turn of events was, of course, the 9-1-0 vote for Julia: David, Gavin, Julie, Kelley, Lauren, Rick, Ron, Victoria and Wardog voted for Julia . Julia voted for Kelley . Aurora voted for David . I'm kind of over the theatrical, "live" tribal at this point, let alone the jury members' over-the-top reactions, especially when they know very well it will get captured, repeated on the internet, and probably meme-d for years. But I guess this one is necessary because instead of just waiting to get steamrolled — or being called a "passenger", how insulting — Rick calls the "pilots" out and pushes people on the bottom to defect. Out of the two pilot gang left — Victoria and Gavin — regardless of his vote for Julia, I don't think it's goo...

"I'M THE PUPPET MASTER" Turns out, the other side and all of their idols do not even have to band together to go against original Kama with its three million members. Wardog just sends himself to say a few words, then Kama is ready to eat one of their own. The funny thing is, the not-Kamas also hate each other. This feels like a week where everyone just doesn't care and lets the chips fall wherever they want. So the vote this week went 8-2-2 because these people will never give up on voting for Kelley and Lauren. Hey, one day it might work: Aurora, David, Gavin, Julia, Kelley, Lauren, Victoria and Wardog voted for Eric . Eric and Ron voted for Kelley . Julie and Rick voted for Lauren . I think this is the first time I've heard about a pact to get to the loved ones visit. This is one of those things you'd hear people say and it sounds odd, but you'd be too baffled to say something back. Getting to family visit could mean an 8th-place finish. Yeah...

"THERE'S ALWAYS A TWIST" Bonus Island has definitely diluted the usual excitement of a merge a little with the voted out players' re-entry, a close-finish challenge, the oohs and owwhs from the courtside seats, the heartbreaking losses and goodbyes, another cheer for a third life in the game, and the white flag raised for the first time! I mean, I'm kind of indifferent about people letting go of a chance to win a million dollars; I just want to see this flag ceremony 🍿. So the vote this week went 6-3-2-2 : Eric, Julia, Julie, Gavin, Ron and Victoria voted for Joe . Kelley, Lauren and Wardog voted for David . Aurora and Joe voted for Rick . David and Rick voted for Kelley . The votes were scattered but pretty easy to follow. It was clear who was friends with who at the merge. The six Kamas who voted for Joe are still not the majority next week and do not have any idols on them. So it will only take the other side banding together and using one of the...

"IT'S LIKE THE WORST COCKTAIL PARTY EVER" Lesu in challenges is gold. They cheer for each other, but their yelling and bickering are better. And I'm sorry. As much as I should say some uplifting words about never giving up or something, I'm also watching a TV show. Their struggles are comical. Maybe it's because 75% of the tribe members look athletic and the other 25% is allegedly good at puzzles, and yet they still lose most of the time. They have in their tribe two highly hyped returnees, one college athlete and a man named Wardog for god's sake! During the first reward challenge, David struggles to stand on Wardog's shoulders to reach the bolos. And after several failed attempts, he is replaced by Lauren, who yells at Wardog when she falls face first, not being caught properly by her team. Then Wardog struggles to land the bolo on target. I mean, I'm sure many others would have the same problem if their name were not Joey Amazing, but we a...

"I NEED A DANCE PARTNER" The Bonus Island isn’t too bad these days. The occupants are still hungry and unhappy and cold, but it seems like this gang of miserable misfits has started to grow into a potentially good TV. Chris arrives at Bonus Island with no warm welcome, especially not from Keith, who on the next day is staring at the white flag, imagining food, shower and warmth, looking close to raising it. Then Chris catches two tiny fish, and the three start to like each other a little. Meanwhile at the main island, they are swapping into three tribes: Kama — Aurora, Joe, Julia, Julie, Ron. Manu — Aubry, Eric, Gavin, Victoria, Wendy. Lesu — David, Kelley, Lauren, Rick, Wardog. Three days ago, Wendy hid the flint to save the chickens. This week, she just releases them out of the coop, does a little island cheer in the dark and vomits a barrage of intel about the old Manu to her new tribe. It’s kind of hilarious, though, that this team of five — David, Kelle...

"BETRAYALS ARE GOING TO GET EXPOSED" When these people say they haven’t eaten in days, they just mean they haven’t eaten rice in days, right? They still eat coconut, at least? Because how are you still on your feet with absolutely nothing going into your stomach for three days? I’d gone without food for 20 hours before. I wanted to raise the flag by hour four. Also, how does Keith get food the next day at Bonus Island, but Reem did not? Did anyone think the concept of this island through? Anyway, there's a huge development happening at Kama this week. They have alliances! There's one that consists of Victoria, Gavin, Eric, Julie, Julia and Ron because they are not into returnees. And there's another that consists of Joe, Aubry and Aurora. Ok, that's all. We're getting back to Manu because Wendy's there. So Wendy's tribemates are starving. Any amount of food will help them win the next immunity challenge. And her tribe winning immunity i...

"ONE OF US IS GOING TO WIN THE WAR" I'd throw a challenge just to vote Ron Clark out if he ever subjected me to any dancing, especially if it's in my underwear. Raise your hand, eight people. You are laughing, but I know you want to do the same. But I also think "What do you think of me coming back and stealing your chance of winning Survivor after two failed attempts?" and "I just want to have a dialogue; you remind me of myself" speeches repeated to multiple people around the camp are almost equally atrocious. But the new players have some entertaining, jaw-dropping moments too. Wendy tells Rick that she doesn't want to side with Kelley, who has already got her shots on Survivor — just in front of David. And Keith is just unbelievably all-around amazing. One: how are his parting words, "Y'all still think you're going to win challenges?" when he seemed to be the one who struggled the most at the challenge? Two: how ...

"IT SMELLS LIKE SUCCESS" I think I'm not going to long-recap this season. Just going to blog the highlights and my moaning and bitching thoughts. _____ It's a new season of Survivor, everyone! *somersaults* But I want to pause this happiness for a bit because I want to whine and start this off on the wrong foot. I enjoyed Fans vs Favourites and Blood vs Water. I don't mind the returnees-mixed-with-newbies seasons and the redemption island twist on Blood vs Water. I understand the drama and gameplay these twists could bring to those seasons. But Redemption Island, South Pacific and Philippines (we've long snuffed Guatemala) and the redemption island twist on the first two are just eye-rolling to me. You won't admit it, Survivor, but most of these seasons were totally made around your hugely hyped returnees, your favourite children from past seasons that you want to see finally winning. So I don't get the appeal of having the four retur...