Cheat Work Thursday

"I'M GOING FOR A MILLION BUCKS" Although I was kind of ready for it to happen, I did not cry during Adam's FTC. But I did use up the last two buckets of the tears quota that I had left for this year on this episode alone, which I could not watch without checking Wikipedia first. Players that I've rooted for have never won before, regardless of the point I start to root for them. I always have to move on to a new pick as the season goes because my pick will always get voted out -- because give me a good edit, especially an underdog one, I'll fall for it. No, give me airtime or funny confessionals, I'll fall for it. This person is my pick now. I thought Adam was annoooyying in the first episode, but he grew on me. And by the time we reached halfway of the game, while I was ok with a David or Jay win, I wanted Adam to win. That was the cue: there was no way he was going to win now. But he did. So, good job, both of us. The Pink Coconut and the Fina...

"SLAYED THE SURVIVOR DRAGON" So we are cutting people in ninja mode here because if this were season 1, we'd basically still have one whole tribe to get rid of with only five days left. Jay wins the first immunity, and Will brings up David's name, which Jay, Hannah, Sunday and Bret seem to agree on. Adam, on the other hand, tells Will and Jay that he's with them but says the opposite in confessional. He doesn't like Will calling the shots and thinks Will is the bigger threat now. Earlier, Adam shook hands with Bret and Sunday, agreeing that Jay, Will and David should be the next three to go. So now Adam goes to Bret, Sunday and Hannah and suggests they vote Will out. Hannah is a bit reluctant because Will just saved their side at the last vote. They would have been saved by Adam's idol anyway, but the point is, yes, Will is in their alliance trust freaking cluster now. But we're on the clock. So at tribal, after discussing the balance bet...

"ABOUT TO HAVE A RUMBLE" Oooh Ken... I knew it. You've never seen the show, have you? After David and friends receive a lifeline in the form of a new ally that is Will, Ken goes up to Will because he can't just hop in bed with somebody after a mere five-minute conversation. Granted the confessional is suspiciously choppy, but if Will's integrity and values do not satisfy his standard, Ken basically doesn't want Will in his alliance. Will, showing Ken his loyalty (Ken needs Will more than Will needs him), tells Ken that Ken is the other side's target. Armed with this valuable intel, Ken goes up to Jay and confronts him because how could they want to vote him out, one of the last two authentic persons on the island? It's jaw-dropping to watch, and suddenly the year 2000 flashes right before our eyes. Good lines: "We have this plan, and Ken tests Will, revealing Will's plan. That's not a test. That's a betrayal!" ~ Adam, ...

"MILLION DOLLAR GAMBLE" That second tribal council is going to give me PTSD for a very long time. Should Jessica flip, though? The opinions on the street are: YES - it's still a long way to go to draw rocks at final 10. NO - because you play to win, not just to move further in the game. NO - as a viewer, I love watching people fighting hard for their sides. We've seen people flip, then one side gets systematically eliminated, followed by a bitter jury (allegedly). So I don't want to see that again, at least not for a while. I want to see gutsy decisions from 10 people with spines. But the rock draw was not the only thing that's making me geek out right now. It was the whole story. From everyone knowing very well how equally divided the tribe was, to Adam and Hannah buying Sunday's simple deception, to the two sides nail-bitingly trying to come out of the battle alive, to ultimately a heartbreaking result. It's heartbreaking because we like...

"STILL THROWIN' PUNCHES" It pains my cynical heart a little to say this, but maybe Jay is not that bad at Survivor. (That's the best I can do today.) Look at him, all calm and high-fiving Hannah, asking to be included in the next vote, discussing with Sunday who they should vote for and the possibility of working together. True, they made connection at Ikabula, but I don't think it was something that Michelle was able to do with Chris. But this is the episode where Bret drinks all of Will's drinks because, you know, Will is 18. Just watching Bret in a happy place already makes me happy. Adam, on the other hand, is in the land of Shoot Yourself in the Foot Some More Because Good Spot Is Not a Nice Place to Have . After turning his back on the Millennials, he reminds Jay that Jay, Will and Taylor are on the bottom. At tribal, after his advantage that sounds more like a curse is exposed by Taylor, he urges everyone to vote him out if they think his advan...

"I'M THE KINGPIN" This is a pretty tough week to do anything creative. You know the week is rough when you don't even feel that angry with Negan. (If you are reading this in a distant future, this is the episode after the 2016 US election. Yeap.) _____ But let's talk about Survivor, and it's the merge week. The relationships: - Jay thinks he is the kingpin and has the old Ikabula, plus Michelle and Taylor, on his side. - Bret says that he still trusts Chris and Sunday, and although he's pretty nervous seeing the Millennials reuniting, he thinks he can still trust Jay from their time at Ikabula. - Chris feels like he's meshing well with Zeke and David, and he also wants to regroup with Bret and Sunday. - Zeke is delighted to see his old "nerdy pals" Adam and Hannah, and he worries that everyone else is going to fall under Jay's spell. - Jessica and Ken are pretty much just a backdrop this episode. This is the week that Ada...

"I WILL DESTROY YOU" This is an episode of good lines. We start at Takali's camp after Figgy's vote: " Of course, it does (affect you, Taylor). Yeah, I screwed you. I lied to you, and I screwed you. Hundred percent. I admit that. " ~ Adam, assuring Taylor that he did, in fact, just screw him, in case it was still not clear to Taylor. " You are now in a worse position than you were before, " he adds. " And that's my fault. I admit that. " OK WE GET IT ADAM. " I'll keep my cool for now, but when it comes the time -- I will destroy you *laughs* ." ~ Taylor, in confessional, with a glint in his now-not-blinking eyes. At the reward challenge, Taylor says the smartest thing he has said all season: " No comment. " ~ replying to Jeff, who asks if he's surprised by Michaela saying Figgy should have long gone. Back at Takali, Taylor and Ken discuss politics. For one second, it actually crosses my m...

"THE TRUTH WORKS WELL" The episode starts with Jay's winner's edit. He breaks into tears, talking about his family and how he's going to win Survivor to help them, and the appropriate sombre music follows. Something is about to go right for him in a few minutes. So, yeap, five seconds later he finds the Ikabula idol, and according to him, the Survivor theme song is bursting immediately in the background right now. But this week is Figgy's episode. If anyone deserves an orchestra, it's Figgy. Everywhere she goes, bright light and colourful sparkles should glowingly trail in her path. Figgy does everything she can to get voted out, but when you have a partner like Taylor, it's not a hard thing to do. First, at the reward challenge, as the popular cool kid, she has to remind everyone that she and Michelle are best friends, in case anybody couldn't figure it out, or worse, forgets about it. She loves Zeke too, though. It's the polite thing t...

"IDOL SEARCH PARTY" The episode starts at the Gen X camp after Lucy's vote, with Jessica not only declaring her debt and apologizing to Ken, but also revealing to him that she would give him the legacy advantage had she got voted out that night. Ken gives her a hug as if he had not just voted for her five seconds ago and doesn't seem to think like he had just missed out on a gift. Between the three of us, whichever way I try to understand this, I feel like a chip is missing here. I give up, it's probably mine. So, the next day is the swap day, and they are divided into three tribes: Vanua - CeCe , Chris , David , Michelle , Zeke . Takali - Jessica , Ken , Adam , Figgy , Taylor . Ikabula - Bret , Sunday , Hannah , Jay , Michaela , Will -- which has to start over at a totally new camp. Chris comes to Vanua with CeCe and David, who were not exactly his allies in their old tribe, and he finds a new friend in Zeke with their Oklahoma connection. So when Va...

"WHO'S THE SUCKER AT THE TABLE?" My first question for tonight is, has Ken ever been happy while on Survivor? Is he that hurt that, in his 30s, people thousands of miles away from home are still calling him Ken Doll, thus bringing back memories of a traumatically bland childhood? I have a feeling even David, who possibly won't leave the shelter without three layers of body armour, is having more fun on the island than Ken. Ken is so broody, opposite of Taylor. Ok, now that we are comparing it to Taylor, broody sounds soooo much better. Good line: "... from one dictator to another. " ~ Ken, describing his luck on Survivor so far, now falling under the rule of Lucy. How hard did you facepalm when Lucy announced that her dictatorship was going to work on Survivor because it apparently works at her home? In a million-dollar social game, who makes her the boss and her tribemates her minions? I'm just glad she's gone because I cannot listen to tho...

"YOUR JOB IS RECON" I found an interview Adam did, in his Millennial voice, saying "that we can do anything that we want now " (as opposed to starting from below). Absolutely. The day I finished my degree, I threw my hat in the ring to chair the Central Bank, and because I put my mind to it, they accepted my application. The episode starts at the Millennials camp after Mari's vote. While I get that Hannah is being extremely unbelievable with her inability to give space, Zeke and Adam, whose total number of alliance members is exactly two, don't think it's important enough to humour Hannah for a few minutes. Fine, I doubt that Hannah would only take a few minutes, but she's still a number. Let her talk, you choosy beggars. Tune out if you have to, gaze at the sky, think of a cat or something. Don't send her away. Good line: " That's me. You and me on dumbass island. " ~ Adam, agreeing with Zeke of their position on the b...

"LOVE GOGGLES" Oww Mari. Hannah wasn't talking about puppies, and Michelle is a good recruiter after all. Yeap, the next time you want people to do something, all you have to say is "Just jump over the cliff, buddy. I'll tell you why later." I'm not annoyed with Adam as much as before. Just found out that he's a super fan*. Now I can understand a little of his overexcitement, or even his grinning. But he's still yelling at me. We'll see. *Also because I've already gotten my headache from Fabio and friends, which now includes Hannah and her OTT performance at the voting booth. I still shouldn't be rooting for anyone on Survivor, though. Now I'm worried for Zeke (it's my fault, Zeke). And often people with a lot of air time at this stage are also early boots. By this theory, David, Zeke, and Fabio and friends are; whilst Lucy (there is a Lucy, I just found out too), Bret and Chris will go far. (Oh my God, I forgot, the...

"MAY THE BEST GENERATION WIN" Yes, it's the national holiday! The Survivor premiere day! (I feel sorry for people who don't watch.) Let's get right to it. Let's judge these 20 starving, unwashed strangers -- one of them is going to win a million dollars by the end of the season -- starting with those who stand out: Hannah – I thought Hannah would be low on my favourite list. To be fair, I was choosing from a small pool since not many stood out during pre-season. But what do you know, I'm now spoiled for choices. It's the return of Caramoan "cool kids" plus Fabio. So, Taylor and friends, do entertain us before you pack to Ponderosa. (This new Fabio is not going to win.) Adam – Not far behind, there is something annoying about Adam, but I can't point out to specifics. Is it his smug look while shouting in confessional? That doesn't feel like a huge offense, though. Now I just sound like a grumpy Gen Xer. I don't know, I...