What If It’s Us

When I was 12, I couldn’t wait to be 16. Sixteen sounded so grown-up. Now that I’m waaay over 16, I still have no idea how growing up feels like. You’d think I'd see this as my shortcoming, but no. When I see my grown-up friends stressing out over their grown-up problems, I’d lie in bed, sip coffee, open my Sims, and know that I’m fine.

What If It’s Us is written by Becky Albertalli, whose earlier books I discovered and was obsessed over this year, and Adam Silvera, whose two books are on my current to-read list.

Now that this is the sixth YA book I read this year, I've started to wish these characters were a little older, though. The characters are cute and funny and great, but I’ve started to ask myself if I reaaally should be reading one more book about 16-year-olds making out...

But as I've said many times this year, young adult books are happiness! Also, these books are written by adults. I should be fine, right? OMG ALL THOSE YA TV SERIES AND MOVIES THAT I WATCHED

So, the story is about Arthur, the optimist, possibly Yale-bound, who wears his heart on his sleeve, and Ben, who's just got out of a relationship and maybe a tad cynical. (I mean, for a 17-year-old. Compare him to a 40-year-old cynic, then he's probably still rainbow and butterfly.) Arthur is from Georgia, interning in NYC for the summer, while Ben lives in the city and is in the summer school.

The two meet at a post office on the day Ben wants to mail stuff from his ex-boyfriend back to the ex-boyfriend. They leave the post office without names and numbers, and spend days trying to find each other before finally going on a date. They quickly start a relationship *cue cute romance*, at the back of their minds painfully realizing that this is probably not going to end the way they want it when Arthur leaves by the end of the summer.

I love that the book writes imperfect characters and imperfect moments. There are tons of lessons and reminders for real life there. And any reference to Harry Potter and Sims and love for writing is always a bonus. (And using cheat codes for Sims too? Come-on 😍.) Although, obviously, I can only dream about ever writing such a masterpiece like The Wicked Wizard War that suspiciously sounds like Harry Potter, by the way.

I’m a little jealous of Ben. Why didn’t I discover it sooner — that writing, even just a blog post for yourself with choppy sentences and poor grammar, rambling about TV, is such a happy outlet. The years of trying to decode Add Maths and Physics, and years and years of learning and doing Accounts knowing my heart was not in it... Well, the answer is — practicality. I needed to study something that got me a scholarship and a job that pays the bills. Ben is a fictional character. Sometimes they are 16 and know what they want and don’t have practicality getting in their way.

Also, you don’t get paid by simply doing things that you love... You must also create things that people want to pay for. *Crying emoji, crying emoji*. Don’t remind me.

Alright, back to Arthur and Ben. I’m never not saying spoilers on here — so these two part ways at the end of summer but still keeping in touch with each other right through their freshman year in college: keeping in touch, FaceTiming, updating each other of their lives, hinting each other of their feelings... basically torturing themselves no matter how hard they try to convince themselves the relationship is platonic.

So yeah, I even googled how far Wesleyan is to NYC — it's a two-hour drive. It's not that far, right? Sigh, I don’t know.

So, if you haven’t, go read the book. I still think about it days after reading it. Just found my new favourite characters.

Image: HarperCollins