The Fake Bachelor, Episode 5
(The whole series here.)
"You can't go in."
"Can I just talk to Scha for two minutes, please?"
We hear the conversation, repeated 146 times now, over a horror background music.
So who is it?
OMG. It's Greg Manager!
"I'm the security."
As if knowing beforehand that his presence is needed early that night, Nick Host appears at once.
"Nick, I just would like to ask Scha if she could give me a second chance. I feel like we haven't really got the opportunity to get to know each other."
After a long pause, and just when Nick Host is about to open his mouth, we cut to commercials again. And after the commercials, the scene repeats, generously giving me enough time to clip my nails and wash my hair.
.....
.....
"Well, we love your sincerity, Greg. I have a feeling that you can get back in. Let me ask Scha first," Nick Host finally says as the music changes.
Scha is essentially indifferent to Greg's return. I mean, it's not that she can't eliminate him again. So she says yes and gets her focus back to the rest of the house.
Meanwhile, the tension between Matt Lawyer, Ben Sales and Patrick Model continues.
"Why do we all have to wear the same style?"
"Calm down. You look like me when I was angry at Blake about his suit. This is my surprise for Scha, a peek at our wedding day."
"This is my surprise for her!"
As the rose ceremony gets nearer, Scha goes into another emotional turmoil.
"I've spent 14 days with these incredible, incredible men. I can't throw 14 days out of the window just like that! I feel so sick to my stomach."
"I care so much for each and every one of you. You've made my life so much brighter and more meaningful by just getting to know you. This is not an easy decision. But I have to go with my gut tonight and look at the rate each of the relationships is going." - Scha, before giving out roses.
And the person eliminated is -- Matt Lawyer.
"Technically you finish 5th, so I have to walk with you to the door."
"My plan was to tell you that I'm in love with you just next week."
"I've been wanting to hear that from you for so long! I can't settle with just falling in love at this stage."
ONE-ON-ONE
Greg Manager is the only guy left in the house who hasn't gone on a one-on-one date yet, and they are expecting it's going to be Greg's big day today.
"Are you excited?" they ask Greg, who can't stop smiling all morning.
And when the date card arrives, the one-on-one goes to -- Ben Sales!
Ben goes to meet with Scha at a ranch.
"What are we going to do today?"
"We. Are. Going. Horse riding! We are going to explore the countryside, have picnic, have some fun and -- talk. You know, we are heading into the home stretch, and I hope today is all about asking each other tough questions and maybe discussing the future together."
ONE-ON-ONE
Yesterday's one-on-one went well, and Scha is seen getting ready for the week's second one-on-one at her mansion.
And the second one-on-one goes to -- Ben Sales! Again! This time, they go to a gorgeous open spa by a spring, enjoying a couples massage, whatever that means.
"A spa date is the most romantic date anyone could have. It's really a place to fall in love. Not that I haven't already, though." - Ben Sales, Confessional.
"I came here skeptical but hopeful. I didn't expect to fall in love so quickly. There is no doubt in my mind that we have a strong physical connection," he adds.
GROUP DATE
Group date is with Greg Manager, Ryan Asian and another person, and they are flown to a mountainside.
"Guys, someone is going home by the end of this date, or maybe not really by the end, maybe by halfway through. But let's go snowboarding first." - Scha, totally looking at Greg.
True enough.
"I came back to get to know you. I feel like we haven't got a moment -- to even talk," Greg, in his green holiday sweater, tells Scha when he finally gets the chance.
"I need to hear it. I need a person who can open up and be vulnerable. I want an engagement by the end of this quest," Scha says.
"Ok, let's start by telling each other things about our lives."
"I cannot fight for somebody who's not in love with me. Do you think this is a joke to me?"
"Wh-what do you mean? I just want to..."
"This is not working out, Greg. I'm here to find love. This is not a work trip, or a book tour, or an acting gig, or even an Instagram ad for me. I'm disappointed at your inability to commit."
So, Greg Manager is asked to leave, again.
ROSE CEREMONY
Scha cancels the cocktail party the following night because she already knows what she's going to do this week, making Patrick Model nervous because he feels like he has been holding back. And because he wasn't on any date this week, he wasn't able to update Scha of his feelings.
"Next week is hometowns. It's a very important step for me. It's huge, meeting someone's family. If I know now which one of these four men I can't see myself being engaged to, I don't want to keep them one day longer than necessary. Call it whatever you want -- coincidence, schedule, whatever -- of the fact that by week 6, we the leads usually have feelings for exactly three persons. I call it fate." - Scha, Confessional.
Right before the first rose, the horror music starts playing, and Patrick Model raises his hand.
"Scha, can I talk to you for a second?"
"Sure."
"I want you to know that I love you. Madly, deeply in love with you. I've never felt this way towards anyone ever my entire life. I'm ready to propose -- today, right now. You are the love of my life. My soulmate. I want to spend the rest of my life with you."
"Thank you for telling me that." Scha grabs Patrick's face, and they kiss.
They get back to the ceremony with smiles on their faces.
And the roses go to everyone but -- Patrick Model.
What a mind-blowing show. Like, the most dramatic ever or what?
Can't wait for hometowns next week!
"You can't go in."
"Can I just talk to Scha for two minutes, please?"
We hear the conversation, repeated 146 times now, over a horror background music.
So who is it?
OMG. It's Greg Manager!
As if knowing beforehand that his presence is needed early that night, Nick Host appears at once.
"Nick, I just would like to ask Scha if she could give me a second chance. I feel like we haven't really got the opportunity to get to know each other."
After a long pause, and just when Nick Host is about to open his mouth, we cut to commercials again. And after the commercials, the scene repeats, generously giving me enough time to clip my nails and wash my hair.
.....
.....
"Well, we love your sincerity, Greg. I have a feeling that you can get back in. Let me ask Scha first," Nick Host finally says as the music changes.
Scha is essentially indifferent to Greg's return. I mean, it's not that she can't eliminate him again. So she says yes and gets her focus back to the rest of the house.
Meanwhile, the tension between Matt Lawyer, Ben Sales and Patrick Model continues.
"Calm down. You look like me when I was angry at Blake about his suit. This is my surprise for Scha, a peek at our wedding day."
"This is my surprise for her!"
As the rose ceremony gets nearer, Scha goes into another emotional turmoil.
"I care so much for each and every one of you. You've made my life so much brighter and more meaningful by just getting to know you. This is not an easy decision. But I have to go with my gut tonight and look at the rate each of the relationships is going." - Scha, before giving out roses.
And the person eliminated is -- Matt Lawyer.
"My plan was to tell you that I'm in love with you just next week."
"I've been wanting to hear that from you for so long! I can't settle with just falling in love at this stage."
ONE-ON-ONE
Greg Manager is the only guy left in the house who hasn't gone on a one-on-one date yet, and they are expecting it's going to be Greg's big day today.
"Are you excited?" they ask Greg, who can't stop smiling all morning.
And when the date card arrives, the one-on-one goes to -- Ben Sales!
Ben goes to meet with Scha at a ranch.
"What are we going to do today?"
"We. Are. Going. Horse riding! We are going to explore the countryside, have picnic, have some fun and -- talk. You know, we are heading into the home stretch, and I hope today is all about asking each other tough questions and maybe discussing the future together."
ONE-ON-ONE
Yesterday's one-on-one went well, and Scha is seen getting ready for the week's second one-on-one at her mansion.
And the second one-on-one goes to -- Ben Sales! Again! This time, they go to a gorgeous open spa by a spring, enjoying a couples massage, whatever that means.
"A spa date is the most romantic date anyone could have. It's really a place to fall in love. Not that I haven't already, though." - Ben Sales, Confessional.
"I came here skeptical but hopeful. I didn't expect to fall in love so quickly. There is no doubt in my mind that we have a strong physical connection," he adds.
GROUP DATE
Group date is with Greg Manager, Ryan Asian and another person, and they are flown to a mountainside.
"Guys, someone is going home by the end of this date, or maybe not really by the end, maybe by halfway through. But let's go snowboarding first." - Scha, totally looking at Greg.
True enough.
"I came back to get to know you. I feel like we haven't got a moment -- to even talk," Greg, in his green holiday sweater, tells Scha when he finally gets the chance.
"I need to hear it. I need a person who can open up and be vulnerable. I want an engagement by the end of this quest," Scha says.
"Ok, let's start by telling each other things about our lives."
"I cannot fight for somebody who's not in love with me. Do you think this is a joke to me?"
"Wh-what do you mean? I just want to..."
"This is not working out, Greg. I'm here to find love. This is not a work trip, or a book tour, or an acting gig, or even an Instagram ad for me. I'm disappointed at your inability to commit."
So, Greg Manager is asked to leave, again.
ROSE CEREMONY
Scha cancels the cocktail party the following night because she already knows what she's going to do this week, making Patrick Model nervous because he feels like he has been holding back. And because he wasn't on any date this week, he wasn't able to update Scha of his feelings.
"Next week is hometowns. It's a very important step for me. It's huge, meeting someone's family. If I know now which one of these four men I can't see myself being engaged to, I don't want to keep them one day longer than necessary. Call it whatever you want -- coincidence, schedule, whatever -- of the fact that by week 6, we the leads usually have feelings for exactly three persons. I call it fate." - Scha, Confessional.
Right before the first rose, the horror music starts playing, and Patrick Model raises his hand.
"Scha, can I talk to you for a second?"
"Sure."
"I want you to know that I love you. Madly, deeply in love with you. I've never felt this way towards anyone ever my entire life. I'm ready to propose -- today, right now. You are the love of my life. My soulmate. I want to spend the rest of my life with you."
"Thank you for telling me that." Scha grabs Patrick's face, and they kiss.
They get back to the ceremony with smiles on their faces.
And the roses go to everyone but -- Patrick Model.
What a mind-blowing show. Like, the most dramatic ever or what?
Can't wait for hometowns next week!
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