The Fake Bachelor, Episode 4
(The whole series here.)
The delayed and long awaited episode (we'll get to that) starts with Scha sending Blake home, and 14 countries around the world gasp in horror. Matt has been the huge villain the entire three episodes. You'd think this is the episode where the villain gets their comeuppance, but no, this is the new era of TV, and the show has single-handedly paved this historic change.
"We need to break up near a cliff."
Scha leaves the date with Matt. And Blake, sobbing, is asked to stand by the cliff until the helicopter has circled him three times.
At the Fake Bachelor house, the rest of the guys sit in a U-shape in the living room for the Bag Pick Up Ceremony and cover their mouths in shock when a handler takes Matt's bag out.
"I didn't think it was going to be Matt," one guy in a salmon pink V-neck says.
Thirty seconds later, the handler enters the room again, returns Matt's bag and takes Blake's out -- apparently having taken the wrong bag earlier.
The guys cover their mouths in shock again.
"I didn't think it was going to be Blake either," the guy in the salmon pink V-neck says.
ROSE CEREMONY
It's a pretty simple decision. Scha eliminates Greg Manager.
"He's not ready for commitment. If he whines about helping hungry kids, how is he supposed to build a family with me?" Scha explains to the camera.
ONE-ON-ONE
Time for a new cycle.
The first one-on-one is with Ryan Asian. They go to a dog park to see a show and play with two new friends afterwards.
New friends: Rufus and Emily.
Conversation that day runs from dogs and TV to family, friends, travel, work, politics and personal quirks.
"Toy Story is my favourite superhero movie."
"I totally can take a selfie without makeup -- it's liberating, and I hope that can help empower women out there to do the same -- as long as I know I look pretty in the picture."
GROUP DATE
Group date is with Ben Sales, Matt Lawyer, Patrick Model and another person at a beautiful lagoon -- the reason the filming was delayed, as the lagoon took longer to build than anticipated. And turns out, it can only accommodate one person at a time for snorkeling.
Ben Sales tells Scha that he feels abandoned and wonders if Scha is really into this process as they only kiss three times during the date, at least seven times less than their last one.
Another group date's rose would probably give Ben Sales some reassurance, but Scha proves to us once again that she's not a conventional lead. She's setting her own rules, and it's important for her to not give the group date's rose to the same person twice in a row, so this one goes to Patrick.
"Who's that in the lagoon?"
"Ken Analyst."
Other than that, they take the time to relax, enjoy the sun and pitch their cases for the rest of the date.
"Remember Anthony Ricci, season 12? He finished 9th and still got to be the lead on The Fake Bachelorette."
"That's very rare, though. They usually pick people in the Top 4."
ONE-ON-ONE
The date is with Justin Analyst at a ghost house.
"Since day one, Justin Analyst is one of the guys that I can't wait to spend one-on-one time with." - Scha.
"After college, what's the longest you've gone without being in a relationship?"
"Three years. When I lived in Italy with my friend Marco."
They try to connect with each other, but the nice flowing music has stopped playing in the background by the time they get to the second floor. Instead, there are long pauses, awkward nods and Justin jumping every 10 seconds every time they see a skull or a flying book or a coffin.
"This isn't working. I think we should end it here," Scha finally says, ending everybody's misery.
"Marco told me that I'd make a good partner. But in reality, dating is hard." - Justin, breaking into tears in the van heading home.
"Err, do you mind walking with me to the door?"
"I can't. I have to go do Confessional."
"Hello? Who's that? Who switched off the lights?"
ROSE CEREMONY
Two important things happen at the cocktail party:
1 There are tiny clashes between Ben Sales, Matt Lawyer and Patrick Model.
2 Somebody is seen walking to the gate and asking security to get back in.
OH MY GOD. SOMEBODY IS COMING BACK!
TO BE CONTINUED...
No!!! This is so suspenseful. Who is it???
The delayed and long awaited episode (we'll get to that) starts with Scha sending Blake home, and 14 countries around the world gasp in horror. Matt has been the huge villain the entire three episodes. You'd think this is the episode where the villain gets their comeuppance, but no, this is the new era of TV, and the show has single-handedly paved this historic change.
Scha leaves the date with Matt. And Blake, sobbing, is asked to stand by the cliff until the helicopter has circled him three times.
At the Fake Bachelor house, the rest of the guys sit in a U-shape in the living room for the Bag Pick Up Ceremony and cover their mouths in shock when a handler takes Matt's bag out.
"I didn't think it was going to be Matt," one guy in a salmon pink V-neck says.
Thirty seconds later, the handler enters the room again, returns Matt's bag and takes Blake's out -- apparently having taken the wrong bag earlier.
The guys cover their mouths in shock again.
"I didn't think it was going to be Blake either," the guy in the salmon pink V-neck says.
ROSE CEREMONY
It's a pretty simple decision. Scha eliminates Greg Manager.
"He's not ready for commitment. If he whines about helping hungry kids, how is he supposed to build a family with me?" Scha explains to the camera.
ONE-ON-ONE
Time for a new cycle.
The first one-on-one is with Ryan Asian. They go to a dog park to see a show and play with two new friends afterwards.
Conversation that day runs from dogs and TV to family, friends, travel, work, politics and personal quirks.
"I totally can take a selfie without makeup -- it's liberating, and I hope that can help empower women out there to do the same -- as long as I know I look pretty in the picture."
GROUP DATE
Group date is with Ben Sales, Matt Lawyer, Patrick Model and another person at a beautiful lagoon -- the reason the filming was delayed, as the lagoon took longer to build than anticipated. And turns out, it can only accommodate one person at a time for snorkeling.
Ben Sales tells Scha that he feels abandoned and wonders if Scha is really into this process as they only kiss three times during the date, at least seven times less than their last one.
Another group date's rose would probably give Ben Sales some reassurance, but Scha proves to us once again that she's not a conventional lead. She's setting her own rules, and it's important for her to not give the group date's rose to the same person twice in a row, so this one goes to Patrick.
"Ken Analyst."
Other than that, they take the time to relax, enjoy the sun and pitch their cases for the rest of the date.
"That's very rare, though. They usually pick people in the Top 4."
ONE-ON-ONE
The date is with Justin Analyst at a ghost house.
"Since day one, Justin Analyst is one of the guys that I can't wait to spend one-on-one time with." - Scha.
"Three years. When I lived in Italy with my friend Marco."
They try to connect with each other, but the nice flowing music has stopped playing in the background by the time they get to the second floor. Instead, there are long pauses, awkward nods and Justin jumping every 10 seconds every time they see a skull or a flying book or a coffin.
"This isn't working. I think we should end it here," Scha finally says, ending everybody's misery.
"Marco told me that I'd make a good partner. But in reality, dating is hard." - Justin, breaking into tears in the van heading home.
"I can't. I have to go do Confessional."
ROSE CEREMONY
Two important things happen at the cocktail party:
1 There are tiny clashes between Ben Sales, Matt Lawyer and Patrick Model.
2 Somebody is seen walking to the gate and asking security to get back in.
OH MY GOD. SOMEBODY IS COMING BACK!
TO BE CONTINUED...
No!!! This is so suspenseful. Who is it???
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