I Want a Life That I Feel Good About, Please, Thank You

A year ago, I wrote that my happiness level was only at 49%. Today, I believe it has increased to at least 60%. I can't wait to find out how 120% feels like.

I used to think I knew how being 100% happy feels like: It must be during that time I travelled to City A, or went on shopping sprees that I was able to pay for myself*, or watched a nice play, or had a spa day, or had a smh-at-the-price meal or haircut -- for example. (Because I'm sure some of you are about to shriek, "What about the time spent with family and friends?!")

(*It helps that I think Vincci and MANGO are already great, and I don't include a car or a house or a private jet in my typical shopping list.)

I've started to realize that those don't really feel true now. I hope I don't sound ungrateful. I'm sure I was happy during that trip. And nice dresses and haircuts are really good mood boosters, I tell you. It's just the trip to City A, B or C was with Person D, E and F -- and where are they now? They are not here in my life anymore. The play that I saw was with Person G, whom I last had coffee with five years ago. And it's not a coincidence. (That smh-at-the-price fish, by the way, I should know ikan goreng is not supposed to go over RM5.)

So those times don't feel like 100% happy times now. Maybe just 55%. While I still would like to have some (or the altered versions) of those things and experiences, they cannot be the highlights of my life.

While I get that our past shapes who we are today, and I'm grateful for each of the good things I receive, I want a life that I feel good about and memories that I'll love for a lifetime from now on, please, thank You.

(If you're rolling your eyes now because I also have Lucky Charm posts in which I wave magic wand, hoping an outfit would bring me a good day, you are totally missing my point. Take back your eye-roll.)

Image: from my new favourite site textfromdog