Good Carpentry Work
Prologue I.
I might need to stay up for a bit tonight.
Prologue II.
Do you know how carpenters (in movies) have those lean muscles? It's because their work is so physically demanding!
I thought of cleaning the house more than the usual weekly do this week: Get the carpet cleaned, move the sofa and shelves, actually sweep and mop those spots that have never been swept and mopped since 1971, and throw away stuff that I'm not going to use anymore and stuff that I don't even know who put them in this house in the first place.
So there's this dumb TV rack that has been sitting at the corner of my living room for ages. It's not mine. The owner of the rack promised to pick it up "in a couple of months". And that was four years ago.
The apartment only collects small garbage and doesn't allow us to throw our old furniture in the garbage house. One -- I swear the garbage house is full of old furniture every day. Now you wonder how they get there because you'll never see anyone bringing them in. Two -- How are the rest of us supposed to discard our furniture??? You cannot say no, tie our hands, and not provide us with a solution.
(Before you suggest that I send it to charity, I don't think it's a good idea for this one. It's a long story.)
So, I want to get rid of this rack.
I can't throw* it away in the broad daylight, so I have to throw it at night. I feel like 12.
Only that, I am not sure how to carry this elephant two floors down with no elevator, and another 30 metres to the garbage house.
So, I need to take it apart and throw it piece by piece. Genius. How hard can it be? I'll just use a hammer and a screwdriver. I put together my work desk myself. Dismantling should be easier than building (by 'building' you should know it means screwing the pieces together).
Not really...
It sort of went like this:
2PM - This is easy.
2.03 - Ok maybe the screwdriver is a bit blunt. I'm going to put in more energy now.
2.04 - This is very good carpentry work. I hope the guy who made this got paid with good money.
2.05 - I hope no one was harmed in making this rack. I hope no child labour was involved.
2.06 - There's no way a child could make this.
2.10 - I'll just knock it with a hammer. That has to be easier. Why didn't I try it with a hammer first? Damn. I've just lost 10 minutes.
2.12 - I hope my neighbour won't complain about the noise.
2.13 - This is really, really, really good carpentry work... Everyone should have this rack... If they don't intend to throw it away. Ever.
2.16 - I'll use the hammer and two screwdrivers now.
2.26 - I need to snack.
2.36 - I need to put on some music.
2.38 - Maybe I can chip the wood. I've seen James Franco do it in 127 Hours. Maybe it'll take just a little more time than expected.
2.39 - Only that James Franco didn't really succeed with the chipping-thing.
2.40 - But that was rock... and this is wood.
2.49 - F.
2.50 - Shoot! I shouldn't curse and expect things to go smoothly.
2.51 - Let me start again with a prayer.
2.55 - I need a longer prayer.
And sometime between 2 to 5, after trying every possible way my genius and creative mind could think of, I managed to loosen 8 out of 12 screws from the top board. So, basically, this dumb two-tier rack is still safely in one piece.
So now, maybe, I'm just going to carry it down to the garbage house tonight. I think.
*Unless you have something to prove, there's a proper way to dispose furniture :).
I might need to stay up for a bit tonight.
Prologue II.
Do you know how carpenters (in movies) have those lean muscles? It's because their work is so physically demanding!
_____
I thought of cleaning the house more than the usual weekly do this week: Get the carpet cleaned, move the sofa and shelves, actually sweep and mop those spots that have never been swept and mopped since 1971, and throw away stuff that I'm not going to use anymore and stuff that I don't even know who put them in this house in the first place.
So there's this dumb TV rack that has been sitting at the corner of my living room for ages. It's not mine. The owner of the rack promised to pick it up "in a couple of months". And that was four years ago.
The apartment only collects small garbage and doesn't allow us to throw our old furniture in the garbage house. One -- I swear the garbage house is full of old furniture every day. Now you wonder how they get there because you'll never see anyone bringing them in. Two -- How are the rest of us supposed to discard our furniture??? You cannot say no, tie our hands, and not provide us with a solution.
(Before you suggest that I send it to charity, I don't think it's a good idea for this one. It's a long story.)
So, I want to get rid of this rack.
I can't throw* it away in the broad daylight, so I have to throw it at night. I feel like 12.
Only that, I am not sure how to carry this elephant two floors down with no elevator, and another 30 metres to the garbage house.
So, I need to take it apart and throw it piece by piece. Genius. How hard can it be? I'll just use a hammer and a screwdriver. I put together my work desk myself. Dismantling should be easier than building (by 'building' you should know it means screwing the pieces together).
Not really...
It sort of went like this:
2PM - This is easy.
2.03 - Ok maybe the screwdriver is a bit blunt. I'm going to put in more energy now.
2.04 - This is very good carpentry work. I hope the guy who made this got paid with good money.
2.05 - I hope no one was harmed in making this rack. I hope no child labour was involved.
2.06 - There's no way a child could make this.
2.10 - I'll just knock it with a hammer. That has to be easier. Why didn't I try it with a hammer first? Damn. I've just lost 10 minutes.
2.12 - I hope my neighbour won't complain about the noise.
2.13 - This is really, really, really good carpentry work... Everyone should have this rack... If they don't intend to throw it away. Ever.
2.16 - I'll use the hammer and two screwdrivers now.
2.26 - I need to snack.
2.36 - I need to put on some music.
2.38 - Maybe I can chip the wood. I've seen James Franco do it in 127 Hours. Maybe it'll take just a little more time than expected.
2.39 - Only that James Franco didn't really succeed with the chipping-thing.
2.40 - But that was rock... and this is wood.
2.49 - F.
2.50 - Shoot! I shouldn't curse and expect things to go smoothly.
2.51 - Let me start again with a prayer.
2.55 - I need a longer prayer.
And sometime between 2 to 5, after trying every possible way my genius and creative mind could think of, I managed to loosen 8 out of 12 screws from the top board. So, basically, this dumb two-tier rack is still safely in one piece.
So now, maybe, I'm just going to carry it down to the garbage house tonight. I think.
*Unless you have something to prove, there's a proper way to dispose furniture :).
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