The Fake Bachelor, Episode 8, Finale
(The whole series here.)
What a finale! Did we just witness one woman's epic determination to go after what she wants: a proposal?
Let's recap.
BEN SALES' FINAL DATE
We start the episode on the tropical island sponsoring the date.
Ben Sales requests the producers to drop Sales in his name now that Ben Analyst is no longer on the show.
Then Scha meets with him at a bar to have breakfast and read the date card:
"Never mind. It's the same one every season. Of course, we are going to spend the whole time together today."
"I have a gift for you. I made a children's storybook."
"Staahp it! Wait, how are you 31 and still single again?"
"I once cheated on a girlfriend. You can never understand the meaning of hurting until you cheat on someone and get hurt by that."
"That's so profound."
"I love you."
"I love you too."
"What? Are you even allowed to say that? Are you telling the same thing to what's-his-face?”
"Of course I can say that. We're at the last episode. And no, I’m not telling this to two persons at the same time. Who do you think I am? The last two male leads?"
"I like that."
"I've always had a good feeling about us."
"I like that our dates are suuuper organic, just like how they would be in our real lives. Like that one time the horses refused to move? We are going to solve that kind of problem together soon."
"Yeah, I can’t wait to bring you to the grocery store."
"Is it even a question how this season is going to end? Somebody is going to regret it if I don’t get engaged next week."
GREG MANAGER'S FINAL DATE
The final date with Greg Manager is sponsored by a cold city in Europe. Unfortunately, there was a blizzard that day, and what they thought was only a few hours of delay to their date location extended to more than six hours. A few plans had to be cancelled, and Greg Manager cooked them lunch instead.
"This is delicious. You really can cook."
"Thanks. Sometimes I have to cook at work too."
"What an experience cooking in space."
"Space...?"
So, turns out, Greg is a Station Manager as in Catering Manager, a job he apparently really enjoys, which I suspect would bum Scha out had she not practically been engaged to Ben already.
They end up spending most of the day huddling in the mountain chalet, waiting the weather out. We've got to give it to this guy for still doing this despite receiving zero encouragement from Scha.
They kill the time talking about tons of things -- from movies, hidden talents and road trips to work, family and friends.
The blizzard eventually stops in the evening, and they finally get to come down the mountain to go cheese tasting and take a stroll by the beach in the cold weather.
Well, it was fun, Greg. Probably we'll get to see you on The Fake Bachelor in Paradise.
THE FINAL ROSE
They start not too long before the golden hour -- first to film the rejection in normal daylight, and later the proposal right before sunset.
"Gentlemen, there's only one rose left. Scha, when you're ready." - Nick Host, squinting his eyes, reading from a card.
In that moment, Ben raises his hand.
"Scha, could I talk to you for a second?"
"I mean, it's tricky for me to walk in these shoes in the sand, but, of course."
They walk near the water, and Ben's face has turned completely grey by then.
"Scha, you know... you truly are an amazing woman... I feel like..."
Uh-oh. You don't say things like that before proposing to someone.
And he continues, "I really wanted to build a life with you, but I feel like it's unfair to both of us if I go through with this."
Oh my god. It's happening. Ben Sales, Mr-Falling-In-Love-On-Episode-2, is about to walk away, guys!
"I’ve had the time of my life these past few weeks, but I woke up this morning not feeling it. Please know that I gave my all to make this work. I really did fall in love with you. Then I kept hearing this doubt in my mind. Maybe I feel trapped. After our final date, I was just wondering if this is just not meant for us. Maybe there are other paths that we should take, you know, separately."
"Then why didn't you just tell me sooner?”
"I thought YOU were going to do the breaking-up thing anyway. I waited all day in my room. Next thing I knew, it was the old ring maker at my door forcing me to choose a ring. I'm a little scared of what that entails."
"That means you are going to propose to me, you f****** dimwit!"
"Ok."
.....
.....
"Why are you not leaving yet?"
"I was told to wait until you cry for like an hour."
"The f*** I'm going to cry."
"Is this about The Fake Bachelorette? You've been planning this all along, haven't you? You want to be the next season's lead?"
"What? What makes you think that?"
So, with devastating music and all, Ben Sales leaves the show. For now.
And we finally remember to take a deep breath and wipe our tears, and a new music starts to play in the background.
Now all eyes are on Greg Manager.
The question is, will he propose? I mean, I can't stop replaying Scha's words in my head about how somebody's going to regret this if she's not engaged by the end of the show.
"Greg, you know what to do. Scha is waiting for you at the end of this path."
"I can see her from here, Nick. People really pay you for this?"
But thank God, I think we can see Greg walking with a ring box in his hand.
And here we go.
"... from the moment I saw you... I can't think... You are the most..."
I mean, there was a whole little speech that went on for a while, but I couldn't transcribe them all.
"You are beautiful, and kind, and funny, and..."
"Ah, you're so lucky!"
Then Greg went down on one knee, "Scha Mary Vanka, will you m..."
"Of course, yes! Are you kidding me? I'll marry you."
Aww, you guys. Is this the most earth-shattering finale ever or what?
Unless, you know, we have another hour scheduled. Because that can only mean one thing -- we are about to be shown with footage of Scha breaking up with Greg after the show, and she has since got engaged with Ben instead. But no, I don't think so. We know the gig for next season's lead is already on its way to Ben. He did not watch every season of this show for nothing.
Thank you for reading, everyone.
What a finale! Did we just witness one woman's epic determination to go after what she wants: a proposal?
Let's recap.
BEN SALES' FINAL DATE
We start the episode on the tropical island sponsoring the date.
Ben Sales requests the producers to drop Sales in his name now that Ben Analyst is no longer on the show.
Then Scha meets with him at a bar to have breakfast and read the date card:
"Scha and Ben,"This is too long. I can't read it."
Welcome to the island sponsoring the episode. Should you choose to forego your individual rooms, please use this key..."
"Never mind. It's the same one every season. Of course, we are going to spend the whole time together today."
"Staahp it! Wait, how are you 31 and still single again?"
"I once cheated on a girlfriend. You can never understand the meaning of hurting until you cheat on someone and get hurt by that."
"That's so profound."
"I love you too."
"What? Are you even allowed to say that? Are you telling the same thing to what's-his-face?”
"Of course I can say that. We're at the last episode. And no, I’m not telling this to two persons at the same time. Who do you think I am? The last two male leads?"
"I like that."
"I like that our dates are suuuper organic, just like how they would be in our real lives. Like that one time the horses refused to move? We are going to solve that kind of problem together soon."
"Yeah, I can’t wait to bring you to the grocery store."
GREG MANAGER'S FINAL DATE
The final date with Greg Manager is sponsored by a cold city in Europe. Unfortunately, there was a blizzard that day, and what they thought was only a few hours of delay to their date location extended to more than six hours. A few plans had to be cancelled, and Greg Manager cooked them lunch instead.
"Thanks. Sometimes I have to cook at work too."
"What an experience cooking in space."
"Space...?"
So, turns out, Greg is a Station Manager as in Catering Manager, a job he apparently really enjoys, which I suspect would bum Scha out had she not practically been engaged to Ben already.
They end up spending most of the day huddling in the mountain chalet, waiting the weather out. We've got to give it to this guy for still doing this despite receiving zero encouragement from Scha.
They kill the time talking about tons of things -- from movies, hidden talents and road trips to work, family and friends.
The blizzard eventually stops in the evening, and they finally get to come down the mountain to go cheese tasting and take a stroll by the beach in the cold weather.
Well, it was fun, Greg. Probably we'll get to see you on The Fake Bachelor in Paradise.
THE FINAL ROSE
They start not too long before the golden hour -- first to film the rejection in normal daylight, and later the proposal right before sunset.
"Gentlemen, there's only one rose left. Scha, when you're ready." - Nick Host, squinting his eyes, reading from a card.
In that moment, Ben raises his hand.
"Scha, could I talk to you for a second?"
"I mean, it's tricky for me to walk in these shoes in the sand, but, of course."
They walk near the water, and Ben's face has turned completely grey by then.
"Scha, you know... you truly are an amazing woman... I feel like..."
Uh-oh. You don't say things like that before proposing to someone.
And he continues, "I really wanted to build a life with you, but I feel like it's unfair to both of us if I go through with this."
Oh my god. It's happening. Ben Sales, Mr-Falling-In-Love-On-Episode-2, is about to walk away, guys!
"I thought YOU were going to do the breaking-up thing anyway. I waited all day in my room. Next thing I knew, it was the old ring maker at my door forcing me to choose a ring. I'm a little scared of what that entails."
"That means you are going to propose to me, you f****** dimwit!"
"Ok."
.....
.....
"Why are you not leaving yet?"
"I was told to wait until you cry for like an hour."
"The f*** I'm going to cry."
"What? What makes you think that?"
So, with devastating music and all, Ben Sales leaves the show. For now.
And we finally remember to take a deep breath and wipe our tears, and a new music starts to play in the background.
Now all eyes are on Greg Manager.
The question is, will he propose? I mean, I can't stop replaying Scha's words in my head about how somebody's going to regret this if she's not engaged by the end of the show.
"I can see her from here, Nick. People really pay you for this?"
But thank God, I think we can see Greg walking with a ring box in his hand.
And here we go.
"... from the moment I saw you... I can't think... You are the most..."
I mean, there was a whole little speech that went on for a while, but I couldn't transcribe them all.
"Ah, you're so lucky!"
Then Greg went down on one knee, "Scha Mary Vanka, will you m..."
"Of course, yes! Are you kidding me? I'll marry you."
Aww, you guys. Is this the most earth-shattering finale ever or what?
Unless, you know, we have another hour scheduled. Because that can only mean one thing -- we are about to be shown with footage of Scha breaking up with Greg after the show, and she has since got engaged with Ben instead. But no, I don't think so. We know the gig for next season's lead is already on its way to Ben. He did not watch every season of this show for nothing.
Thank you for reading, everyone.
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