History Is All You Left Me

My god. YAs are not supposed to be depressing!

The short verdict is, this book was thisclose to making me sob.

What I forgot to tell you in the previous post, however, although Adam Silvera's books are all depressing, they are also breathlessly sweet and... funny. Darkly funny, mostly. Ordinary days are made of ton of fun, and conversations are cute and lively, with plenty of witty banter. That's probably how the tragedies and losses are tugging at your heartstrings at double rate. Because why can't these people just continue to be happy and in love and have a smooth life forever? Reading Silvera's books is a journey of an emotional roller coaster.

History Is All You Left Me is written in history and present day, jumping between chapters.

In present day, 17-year-old Griffin has just lost his best friend who was also his ex-boyfriend, Theo, in a drowning accident. While he's struggling to come to terms with Theo's death, he's unexpectedly bonding with Theo's new boyfriend, Jackson, over the grief.

In history, we read about Griffin and Theo's friendship and the one year they dated, set in NYC. The two broke up when Theo was accepted for early admission to a college in California while still holding out a plan to get back together when they live in the same city again someday. Soon, Theo met Jackson in California, leaving Griffin at the other end of the country, brewing with anger and jealousy.

Griffin befriends Jackson after Theo's funeral and at one point, out of anger at Theo, sleeps with him.

Back up a few months earlier, again, while he was angry at Theo, Griffin slept with their best friend, Wade. Wade told Griffin to stop waiting for Theo, something that Griffin was having a hard time doing until he eventually realized that he had started to develop feelings for Wade. Griffin blames Theo's death on himself because he believes that him telling Theo he was shelving their future plan together had caused Theo's accident.

So that's the cycle among these four. They fall in love and lose love. And those who remain grieve and try to find love and comfort again.

This is my favourite Silvera's book. This book haunted me for days after reading it. My mood was just kind of blue and blurry during that time. That last scene with the green hoodie was rough (don't laugh at me). But thank universe for the relieving surprise that is Wade. The book and each of the characters, in Griffin's words for Theo, were worth all the heartache.

Image: Soho Teen