In and Out of Isolation, the First Weeks

Photo by Hello I'm Nik 🎞 on Unsplash

I've been cautious in crowded and public places since end of January -- careful with surfaces that I touch and conscious about being too close to others. I also bought masks that I didn't use, though, not until March. Promise I didn't hoard, I only bought a pack of 30 pieces.

The last time I was out of my neighbourhood was for work on 11 March, a week before the stay-at-home order took place. I have a doctor appointment tomorrow (12 May), so that's two months now of essentially self-isolating, going out only for groceries every two weeks, picking up a couple of drive-thrus and takeaways, and receiving only three deliveries for a charging cable, contact lenses and cooking gas.

The order has been relaxed since last Monday. I don't shop for clothes often, but a few weeks into staying in, I made plans that one of the first things that I wanted to do when the order was lifted was to buy some new clothes. But now I guess it can wait. We can't try the clothes at the store at this moment -- I've almost never bought clothes without trying them on first. We are in no way out of the woods yet. At least for the next one year. I can live with not buying much for the next one year, I think.

As if this is surprising, I love staying at home. I know how to fill my time. All the books and movies and TV shows that I can go through! But this is a different animal. This is staying at home not by choice. You can't just leave the house at midnight to go buy food when you are hungry now. You can't go for a run. And with the radius limitation, you can't just pop up at IKEA to buy some useless things that you don't need anymore. IKEA is closed, anyway! And the only time you get to leave the house for groceries and food, you are all anxious from waiting in the long lines to rushing to buy things -- everyone is stressed out.

The first week of the order, I spent hours on Twitter following the news. I rarely followed local news, let alone the political ones before -- they are rarely not anger-inducing or exhausting. But the pandemic made me to, because now I have to keep up with the developments and rules. Boy, did it take a toll on me. I was angry, anxious, frustrated and worried the entire week, and got zero things done.

It got slightly better in the second week. I learned to stay away and pick my news and remind myself that I cannot change things that I cannot change. Not that I had to adjust my routine much, but I'd also started to learn to relax, queuing what shows or movies to watch and books to read. The government also announced the stimulus measures that week. The money helped. Also, my work's lifeline is the optimism in the financial market. So, any sliver of hope or positive news is appreciated.

I've already resigned myself to the possibility of losing or reduced income for a while now, anyway. My expenses are relatively small. But I made a one year money plan in March when one country after another started going into lockdowns. I'm bracing myself for this. Because even when the order is fully lifted, this is going to take some time to recover. I'll live. My hope is I'll survive this with as little dent as possible.